My husband is spending more time with his ex-wife

I found out that my husband had been married before, a fact that he hid from me. Every now and then, his ex-wife keeps calling him to send her money because they have a baby together. I’m deeply unhappy because he has no time for us. PHOTO | FILE

What you need to know:

  • When I was three months pregnant, I found out that my husband had been married before, a fact that he hid from me.
  • Every now and then, his ex-wife keeps calling him to send her money because they have a baby together.

I am writing to you because my relationship is at risk.

I have been married for two years now and have a baby boy. When I was three months pregnant, I found out that my husband had been married before, a fact that he hid from me.

Every now and then, his ex-wife keeps calling him to send her money because they have a baby together.

I’m deeply unhappy because he has no time for us. Do I walk out on this marriage?

 

Hello there,

From your email, I don’t understand in what way your husband has no time for you. Is he spending the time he should be spending with you and your son with his former wife? If so, I feel that you were just a stopgap for a period. It would also be good to know the kind of marriage your husband had with his first wife and what brought it down. This is key to understanding his current actions.

If indeed he is spending more time with his former wife and their child, then his actions reveal where his priority and commitment lies. That said, bear in mind that the child he has with his former wife is his responsibility, just as your son is, so he should provide for him. I suggest that the two of you have a serious, heart-to-heart talk. 

Ensure that before you sit down for that talk, you deal with the current baggage of frustration and unhappiness you carry to make room for a sober discussion.