Now my partner disowns his son

Dear Kitoto,

I am 29 and I am in a ‘come-we-stay’ relationship with a man aged 44. We have been together for almost two years. We have a one-year-old son.

My man drinks daily. One Sunday when he was out drinking, he sent his friend to tell me that my son was not his.

I had been fighting with him to provide for the baby, so I had gone to his parents and talked to them.

Thanks to his drinking, his father wants to kick him out of his compound. He also talked me out of walking away, saying that he loved me as his own daughter, and my son will inherit from him instead of the father. He told me never to leave. What should I make of this?

Hi,

The emotional upheaval you are facing with a man who denies being the father of your son must be overwhelming. However, one thing is clear. His parents love you and do not want you to leave. My only question is whether this is enough to make a marriage work.

I suggest that you convince your man to commit to a counsellor or a forum where the two of you can discuss the unresolved problems.