How do we get back to being just colleagues after bad date?

Hi Brenda,

I am in a fix. Recently, a colleague asked me out on a date. I know people say you should never date a colleague but I had been on a dry spell and I thought why not? The problem is that it was one of those dates from hell...the man practically propositioned me for a one-night stand. I left the date midway. Needless to say, things have been awkward between us since that date from hell. I am really wondering how to handle myself around him as he seems quite hurt about the whole issue. How can we move past this and just be colleagues again? Erica

To tell you the truth, it is impossible to go back to the way things were before this ‘date from hell’ happened. You went on a date with him which turned out to be a disaster and we can’t change that.

There are two things you can do at this point. First, stop worrying about hurting his feelings. He propositioned you for sex and you said no, he is an adult man and he should be able to deal with rejection. Two, stop trying to go back to how things were and instead work on creating a new relationship between you two. You need to re-draw your boundaries.

PS. The next time you have a dry spell, the office may not be the best place to go on the prowl. We have a saying where I come from: You shouldn’t defecate where you eat. Think about that.

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