JUST BRENDA: How do I tell him he's boring in bed?

I have been married for the last one year to the most wonderful and God-fearing man. He is truly the husband of my dreams...except he refuses to get adventurous in bed!

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What you need to know:

  • The problem here isn’t that you want to try new things I bed. It’s how you are going about it.
  • Coming to bed one evening and deciding that you want to change things up can feel like an ambush. Have that conversation first.
  • Choose a time when he is not stressed about other things like football or the bills.

Hi Brenda,

I have been married for the last one year to the most wonderful and God-fearing man. He is truly the husband of my dreams...except he refuses to get adventurous in bed! Every time I try something new, he tenses up and gets upset. Sex, something that I used to enjoy before with other men, has now become routine and boring. How do I tell him he is boring in bed without hurting his ego? Jane

 

Hello Jane,

 

You are right. Sex is a big part of any marriage. It surely should not be routine and boring.

The problem here isn’t that you want to try new things I bed. It’s how you are going about it. Coming to bed one evening and deciding that you want to change things up can feel like an ambush. Have that conversation first. Choose a time when he is not stressed about other things like football or the bills. Tell him that you would like to try new things in bed with him without attacking his current performance.

PS: Don’t tell him that the sex is boring and routine. That will crush his ego and make the sex even more lacklustre.