JUST BRENDA: I've been two-timing my man and now I'm confused

Tuesday November 7 2017

I have been in a relationship with a guy since

I have been in a relationship with a guy since 2013. We’re still together but in 2015, I met another guy and who begged me to give him a chance to try his luck. PHOTO | FILE 

By JUST BRENDA
More by this Author

Hello,

I have been in a relationship with a guy since 2013. We’re still together but in 2015, I met another guy and who begged me to give him a chance to try his luck.

I first made him aware of the existence of the other guy and he agreed to be number two just to try his luck. Since last year have been arguing with the first a lot, sometimes he makes me cry a lot but I can't get out of the relationship because I love him.

The second guy is always good, understanding and mature. We don’t even argue that much but my problem is that he comes from Kisii while I come from a different place.

I want to settle down but I don't know who should I settle down with?

Rose,

Let's take it from the top. You say you met another guy while with the first guy.

The fact that you gave him a chance clearly means that you weren't happy with the first guy, which is why you let him try his luck in the first place.

Did you tell the first guy, or are you just testing new applicants for a job you want to fire your boyfriend from? If you loved the guy, you wouldn't have a second guy.

Do you want an open relationship? Maybe you are arguing so much because you've already left the first relationship in your head.

As for the second guy – relationships tend to be sweetest in the beginning, so watch yourself when you say you argue less – of course you argue less.

You're still in the honeymoon phase. And finally, the tribal problem – that's something you're going to have to figure out for yourself.

If you haven't learnt anything about the futility of tribal thinking in the last two months of Kenya's existence, I don't know how to help you.