DAD STORIES: Two profound lessons from my father

In two different situations, my father reacted in totally contrasting ways, but each response had a resounding long-lasting effect on my character.

When I was about six, my father had come home with really sweet mangoes from our farm one weekend. We had the mangoes for dessert after lunch, and I couldn't get enough of them. So I started scavenging off the plates of my siblings. I ate the mango seeds and skins. My father happened to see me do this, and he stopped me promptly. He gave instructions for more mangoes to be washed and brought to him. We sat side by side at the dining table, him cutting the mangoes and me eating every last piece of them. I must have had four whole mangoes before I felt so full that I started crying. My father simply said: "Next time, when you want something, just ask for it. You can get really sick from doing what you did."

I was told to go and dispose of the remnants of my battle with a gentle rub on the top of my head.

SECOND LESSON

The second time my father taught me a very valuable lesson was when I was 11. We were planning to build a small extension to our house. The bricks had been brought to the house a week earlier and left as a messy pile. My father felt like a neat stack would be more presentable as we waited for the other materials. So the boys were called and we were asked to move one brick at a time. My father would be laying them systematically. I wasn't in the mood for work and I was really slacking and sulky. When I went to put my next brick in a space my father was showing me​ in the pile, I dropped the brick absent-mindedly, not noticing my father’s finger as he was trying to make more space. He let out a yell that chilled me to a pause. I was ​horrified by what I had done, especially when I saw him bleeding. He told my older brother to bring him water and salt so he could wash out the wound. I sat next to him, feeling guilty and full of regret.

"It's okay; you're tired, right?" My father said, holding my shoulder.

After washing and wrapping his hand, he sent me to get sodas for everyone as we rested. We hadn't moved much after the incident. When we got back to work, I never slacked again. I didn't even complain.

The two lessons I learnt from these two experiences: the message is better driven home when you show someone the ridiculousness​ of their actions, and kindness in response to folly sometimes is the best way to touch the conscience.

Would you like to share your father's story? E-mail [email protected]