JUST BRENDA: I feel like my wife wants to be a single mum

I have been married for four years. Our second born was born just the other day and my wife moved to live with her mother despite my disapproval.

PHOTO | FILE

What you need to know:

  • Most parents usually just want their children to be happy.
  • While a big happy family is the ideal result, I must warn you that your in laws might never get on board.

Hello Brenda,

I would like to hear your advice. I have been married for four years. Our second born was born just the other day and my wife moved to live with her mother despite my disapproval. My mother had agreed to come and take care of her. I have spoken to my mother-in-law about it but she said her daughter must stay at their home for a month. I feel that we do not have her other’s blessings as I am from a different tribe. Her family even refused a request by elders from my family to plan for dowry payment. I feel like my wife wants to be a single mother. What can I do?

 

Let's think through this together. Do you really believe that she wants to leave you just because she needs her mother right now more than you? There seem to be deep-seated issues in the relationship that you are yet to confront forcing you to take every act of your wife as a form of rejection.

Give her time to recover from the rigours of childbirth and then have a candid talk with her to ensure that she wants to fight for the relationship alongside you.

If she does, then you will present a united front to your in laws. Tribalism should not be the factor that divides you if this happens.

Most parents usually just want their children to be happy. While a big happy family is the ideal result, I must warn you that your in laws might never get on board. There is nothing you can do about that rather than fight for your family and raise your children not to judge people by their tribes.