JUST BRENDA: How do I tell my boyfriend I can’t keep funding his lifestyle?

Thursday August 31 2017

I don’t want to feed a grown man so how do I

I don’t want to feed a grown man so how do I tell him this without hurting his feelings? PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP 

By BRENDA OKOTH
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Hi Brenda,

I’m a third-year university student and also a serious hustler. I supplement my HELB money by selling jewellery, movies and I also write online academic articles. In short, I’m hardly ever broke.

Now, my issue is that I think my boyfriend is leeching on me. He depends on HELB money and says he is not as business-minded as I am so he keeps asking me for money (which I always loan him, but he never returns) and whenever we go out, he expects me to buy him beer and food. It bugs me that even his buddies expect me to treat them when we hang out together.

I’m okay with treating him once in a while but this has become the norm every time we go out. I don’t want to feed a grown man so how do I tell him this without hurting his feelings?

First of all, kudos for being an industrious young woman. The world could surely use more people like you.

From your e-mail, it seems like what you need is an open and candid discussion with your man about your finances as a couple. If you are feeling used by him, then he needs to know that. There are no two ways about it. Communication is very key here. Sweetie, you can’t be responsible for how he reacts to what you say. As long as you have an open and respectful discussion around this, then you should be okay. And if he happens to throw a tantrum after this, then it may be time to rethink your relationship values.

Do you have a problem for Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]