DR FRANK NJENGA: Learn to live with social media, a double-edged tool

A graphic depicting social media use. GRAPHIC | MICHAEL MOSOTA | NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • We grew our hair into large “afro” styles, wore bell bottoms, had shoes called platforms and experimented with alcohol and other stuff.
  • In their social gatherings, parents complained about this new generation of youngsters who were clearly lost.
  • The mode of dress, casual approach to life and the time and energy spent on girls were topical subjects of discussion.

With the emergence of the Internet and social media, it seems that we have broken the societal norms of breaking bad news. I am writing after a painful experience in which I got to learn of a relative’s death on Twitter. Do we just accept that things have changed and live with it or are there ways we could break such news with minimum pain?

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Growing up in the 1960s, life was great. Kenya had just emerged from a long period of colonial domination and there was an air of optimism as the economy grew rapidly.

A new and vibrant middle class was emerging and their children were the recipients of great hope and expectation.

For our part, the mixture of adolescence and the sense of victorious expectation on the part of the entire nation led to a vibrant group of young men and women. As one would expect, our parents found us to be “very difficult”.

We grew our hair into large “afro” styles, wore bell bottoms, had shoes called platforms and experimented with alcohol and other stuff.

In their social gatherings, parents complained about this new generation of youngsters who were clearly lost.

The mode of dress, casual approach to life and the time and energy spent on girls were topical subjects of discussion.

Part of the challenge was the time spent in letter writing. Boys spent many hours composing letters and poems for loved ones. Sweet smelling letters were dispatched by snail mail and were always sealed with a kiss.

Different schools had different rules regarding times and types of letters that one could receive. Some strict girls schools insisted on the letters being first read by the matron, while others insisted that letters be delivered only on weekends.

I remember carrying letters between lovers who wanted to keep their communication under wraps. Delivery of mail took many forms, all of them very slow.

Patience ruled the day and the waiting made the heart fonder. Dates for the end of term were planned in this way and because of the careful planning involved, people valued dates and kept time. A date meant exactly that, a date to look forward to meeting another person you loved.

In the 1970s, and at university, the telephone became the preferred mode of communication. Halls of residence had coin boxes (now museum pieces) where long queues formed in the evening as boys and girls waiting patiently to make the all-important call to a loved one. For some, the sweet voice of their loved one had replaced letters.

More recently the mobile phone revolution has meant that nobody has to queue to contact a loved one. In a sense, mobile telephony has now made sure that one can only show true love by being instantly available to their loved one.

A delay of more than a few minutes in responding to a WhatsApp message means the boy/girl no longer loves the other. The demand for faster means of communication is increasing daily.

Much as we might try to turn back the clock, I fear we are bound to fail. The train of change has left the station and I know it will never come back.

So, coming to your question, social media is here with us and it will carry both good and bad news. For you, it was the distressing news of the death of a loved one.

For presidents Barack Obama and Uhuru Kenyatta, modern technology was a ticket to State House.

For us in medicine, social media is a method of surveillance of the spread of epidemics. At the other extreme it can be used to tell those who want to avoid police road blocks where to go.

Therefore, just as our parents protested against our dress code and contact with girls/boys, you will have to live with the reality that social media is like a two-sided sword that cuts both ways.

We must learn to live and tolerate both the good and the bad.

This article was first published in the Business Daily.