DAD STORIES: Thank you Baba, for being my friend

Ciru Ngigi talks about her loving father during the interview at Nation Centre on Thursday, June 15, 2017. PHOTO| DENNIS ONSONGO.

What you need to know:

  • My dad grew up fatherless and I think he more than made up of it with us.
  • He is also a critical thinker and has taught me how to think, how to question everything and to look at life from all angles, to not be ashamed, to have a voice; and to believe my brain.
  • He is very good at advice. He will always offer quite a number of angles to look at issues. He has taught me to be a leader.

My dad is the smartest man I know. He is very confident and hard working. He has been very hands on as a parent. He would go out his way to know our teachers and have a personal relationship with them. He also used to drop and pick us from school. On weekends, he would take us on walks in the morning. He has gone a long way to cultivate a relationship with his kids – me and my brother. For this, I just want to tell him thank you for being our great friend.

He has been very good to our mum. He has been very good and very generous to us. And this is something positive as we are living in an era where by a lot of dad’s do not take their marriages or their children seriously.

My childhood with my father was happy, very happy. On Saturdays, the whole day Sunday after church, we would go swimming. If not, we would walk to the river just within the estate to throw stones and chat. I remember being told “you are going for holiday in Mombasa” and being too excited to  sleep.

TAUGHT ME TO BE A LEADER

My dad grew up fatherless and I think he more than made up of it with us. He is also a critical thinker and has taught me how to think, how to question everything and to look at life from all angles, to not be ashamed, to have a voice; and to believe my brain. He is very good at advice. He will always offer quite a number of angles to look at issues. He has taught me to be a leader.

One of the most memorable events with my father is in high school, when I was changing schools. My father was not angry with my decision to transfer to another school. He gave me the space to choose a school that I was comfortable with. Also, when I was looking for university, we went together physically to the universities that I wanted to apply for admission, just to see how the environment was. It was good that he took his time to take me round to see the choices that I had.

I can also recall that when we were young children, my father would take us with him in his car to meet his clients. He introduced us to his clients very early in life and he was never ashamed to be seen walking around with his children.

The holidays are another memorable affair. But this particular one stands out. We had gone to visit our grandmother then we took her with us on holiday. We boarded a plane from Nairobi to Mombasa. It was her first flight. It was the best trip as we visited so many places because of our grandmother. We went to Fort Jesus, to Malindi and so many other places. Our grandmother was old, having trouble with her feet. She was using her walking stick, but she was very patient to see everything she wanted to see. Our saddest day was when our grandmother passed on. The next morning, my father asked me if we could take a walk. I really liked it. I felt like my dad thought of me as a friend. He wanted just to vent out his frustration with the medical personnel and to brainstorm about his relationship with his siblings now that their mother was not there. It is very nice that he called me and thought of me as a friend. It was a very hard time for us, but it also brought our friendship closer.

My father was not too hard to us on discipline. I once saw him get very mad at me, he was so hurt, I almost saw him cry and that was already enough punishment for me. It was something stupid that I had done while in high school. He has only spanked me thrice in my life.

I used to overhear the neighbours say that my dad was not hard on us since he did not beat us. But he was his children’s friend. He was like ‘let’s talk about it’ whenever we did something wrong. But mum was the disciplinarian.

He taught us how to be Christians, and how to memorise Bible verses. When I was five years old, he bought for me a Bible as a gift. I would read and memorise Bible verses, and he taught us how to pray. We still pray together. He took us to Christian schools and advised us to make Christian friends. He cared much about what we will be exposed to and I am grateful about that. My faith is unshakeable. I will question the Bible and I will still believe in it, and still believe in God.

I tend to think that his brain is underutilised. He is ridiculously intelligent and he has been headhunted a couple of times just to give an opinion in the engineering and energy fields. It is like he doesn’t believe in himself, but he is definitely one of the smartest people that I know.

I love you Baba and I want to say thank you for being very present and for being such a good dad. Thank you Baba.

As narrated to MILLICENT MWOLOLO