JUST BRENDA: Shouldn't my child's dad introduce me to his new wife?

Hi Brenda,

I have been separated from my soon to be ex-husband for the last one year and recently, I heard rumours that he had remarried a woman who also has a child. It was confirmed when my daughter and I were watching a video he had sent me of her playing with a little girl and my daughter said it was her sister. Now, I am wondering if I deserve to be introduced to this woman or not? Do I ask him about it or should I just wait until I am introduced? Julie.

Sooner rather than later, you and your daughter’s father need to discuss the dynamics of your co-parenting relationship. The extent of your personal relations with his new wife is something that only the two of you need to agree on. Maturity during this discussion is key.

Here is my advice to you. First, do not even for a second confuse your relationship with him with the fact that the two of you have a child together. These are two different things. Second, you may feel like you need to have a say in who he dates or marries. The plain truth is that you don’t.

If you trust him enough to co-parent, you need to trust that he will make the right decision regarding who he marries.