Finding dates online can be fun, but watch out!

Online criminals will deliberately target you with appealing profiles and photos. They’re not real of course. So once you’re talking the swindle begins. Like they’ll say they’d love to meet you but don’t have the money to travel. ILLUSTRATION | IGAH

What you need to know:

  • Worse still, online criminals will deliberately target you with appealing profiles and photos. They’re not real of course. So once you’re talking the swindle begins.
  • Because far more first messages from women turn into dates than do first messages from men. Even though women send far fewer of them.
  • Guys who hit on all the girls get rejected by most of them. But the ones who only go for the girls who are showing interest in them have a great time.

You looking for love on the Net? You’re forever online anyway, and making new friends online is easy.

But you’ll need to be careful. There are some serious freaks out there. And many dating sites use “bots” that pretend you’re getting great hits on your free profile. So you pay for a subscription – after which all those hits mysteriously dry up.

Worse still, online criminals will deliberately target you with appealing profiles and photos. They’re not real of course. So once you’re talking the swindle begins.

Like they’ll say they’d love to meet you but don’t have the money to travel. Or for a passport. Or a visa. Or they need medical treatment. Or whatever. It’s all a con, of course – and it could get worse. Like some will use your chats or selfies to blackmail you.

They’re so good it’s hard to spot these fraudsters at first. But they usually declare their love too soon, ask lots of questions, somehow avoid answering yours, and of course the conversation quickly turns towards money…

FIRST DATES

So if you’re looking for love on the Net, be as alert as you would be on the streets. And instantly suspicious if the conversation’s getting financial. No matter how good you feel about your new friend.

Don’t avoid the Internet altogether though – lots of couples meet that way. But online communication has some curious characteristics. Like we’re less warm, more revealing about our personal lives, and forget how others feel. So we’re much ruder, saying things we’d never say in real life. 

And those lame chat up lines like “You look so cool. You free now?” really are as awful as they sound! It’s mostly guys who use them, because everyone thinks that men must make the first move.

But that’s changing. Because far more first messages from women turn into dates than do first messages from men. Even though women send far fewer of them. And because both men and women tend to approach online partners who’re more attractive than themselves. So women who send a first message are far more likely to be offered a date – and from far more attractive men. While women who wait for men to approach them just get what’s left. And find themselves turning most of them down.

That might sound crazy, but it’s actually exactly what happens in real life. Guys who hit on all the girls get rejected by most of them. But the ones who only go for the girls who are showing interest in them have a great time.

Finding dates online’s fun. But be streetwise – and be yourself online. Because you won’t connect with your date in real life if you’re actually different from your online character.

In fact, don’t do anything online that you wouldn’t do face-to-face. Instead, learn to use the Internet skilfully – and think of it as an extension of your personality. Then you really might find love on the Net…