Courage, joy and grace under fire

“Even when you don’t get a miracle, you can be a miracle. Prepare yourself for the kingdom and inspire others. Don’t let cancer steal your joy.”

 Janet Kanini Ikua

She had a genuine and ready smile, full of optimism and positivity. It took just an afternoon with Janet Kanini Ikua for your faith in humankind to be restored. I spent one such unforgettable afternoon with her sometime last year, in her living room, sipping on herbal tea and talking about life after cancer diagnosis, faith, healthy living, love and children.

Now after her passing on, I think back to that uninterrupted  afternoon, those few hours when the future stretched endlessly before us, oblivious to the distant gathering dark clouds. And every time I do, I’m looking for what she deposited with me, the lessons I drew from this younger, brave woman. I find many.

The biggest one was her indestructible joy, that quick smile, positive word and desire to leave you better than when she met you. If there ever was joy, courage and grace under the fiery monster that is cancer, Janet was it.

And she left so much behind, for us, in her interviews, tweets and blog. She wanted us to see life and hope beyond the struggle, all the while perhaps knowing, like a valiant soldier who goes into battle, that she may not live long enough to see it.

LONGEST WAIT

That afternoon when I got the news of her passing on, I was boarding a flight to India to visit with friends. While there, I opted to do a full medical check-up. Those three days of testing and visits to doctorsisits were amongst the longest I have ever spent.

The anxiety of the wait for results. I breathed many sighs of relief when I received good news, yet soberly understanding that for many, that was not the case. Some who huddled with me in the corridor, waiting to be called in, were going  to have their lives altered dramatically by a doctors diagnosis.

During that time I met many Africans in the hospital lounges, our dark skin forming a camaraderie between us. Most of the cases I met were cancer related, many had tales of misdiagnosis back home.

They came to India looking for a cure and a hope. This was their last ditch attempt but they were making it anyway. There were men, women, and the most heartbreaking of all, children.

Most had sold everything and fund raised to get here, because in the final analysis, life is precious and irreplaceable. I met mothers who had come with their children, brothers who had brought their fathers, women who had accompanied husbands, and sisters who had accompanied sisters.

I visited with one family who had been here for months, seeking treatment for their child, living in a single room, and cooking in the corridor. The little girl is making good progress.

While there, I met an elderly woman who has been in India since February seeking treatment. She was full of hope, optimism and acceptance. She was going to fight for her life to her last breath, she told me, and after that, accept God’s will.

Like Janet, she left an imprint on my mind. When you meet valiant ones like these, you are forced to reassess your life. You realise that you have so much to be thankful for, you understand that while you have challenges, there is someone facing a bigger challenge with greater grace and courage.

You recognise that joy is a choice. Joy is not the absence of pain or fear but a conscious effort to still seek the good, beautiful and honourable in every situation, in the midst of that pain and fear. And you gird your loins, and strengthen your resolve because life, all life, especially a joyful life is worth fighting for.