Do not make sadness your ally

Sadness is the ally of the enemy. Someone told me this many years ago and it has helped me. PHOTO| FILE

What you need to know:

  • One can sidestep most of the harmful consequences of living in this crazy world by obeying the Ten Commandments.

  • But no one—no matter how holy—lives completely free from pain and sorrow.

“Sadness is the ally of the enemy.” Someone told me this many years ago and it has helped me. The same person also said, “It would be naive to ignore the suffering and discouragement, the sadness and loneliness that meet us relentlessly as we go through life.”

You cannot avoid sadness any more than you can avoid temptation. Jesus had to endure both. You will have to endure them too.

Jesus was tempted in the desert. Later, he was burdened with sadness during his agony in the garden. To describe how our Lord felt the night before he died, St Mark wrote: “He began to feel terror and anguish. And he said to them, ‘My soul is sorrowful to the point of death.’”

Try to think of them together—sadness and temptation. You want to escape from temptation as soon as possible. The worst thing to do with temptation is to entertain it. When it comes, reject it immediately—or at least as soon as you can.

In the same way, you want to escape sadness as soon as you can. The worst thing to do with sadness is to wallow in it. Sadness becomes self-pity and self-pity becomes spiritual paralysis.

One can sidestep most of the harmful consequences of living in this crazy world by obeying the Ten Commandments.

But no one—no matter how holy—lives completely free from pain and sorrow. You will be hit, maybe literally, by something that makes you suffer. Does that mean believing in God is useless? Does that mean faith will eventually let you down?

Faith helps you understand suffering. It teaches you two things that are like opposite sides of the coin. Suffering will come your way. Suffering is part of God’s plan for your holiness.

St James asked: “Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray.” When the suffering comes, there’s nothing wrong with feeling sad—just as there is nothing wrong with having to endure temptation.

But pray. Just as you ask God our Father: “Lead us not into temptation,” ask him: “Lead me out of this sadness. Show me what you want.” You will shed tears. Try to smile through the tears, knowing that in heaven, all our tears “will be wiped away.”

The first Christians explained the mystery this way. Our present world is so good that we might get attached to it. Do not be surprised that God allows suffering if only to remind us that he has prepared a better world.

As that friend of mine said (the one I mentioned earlier): “What does suffering matter if it unites us with Jesus on the cross—in a word, if we suffer for Love?”