Do they tick right boxes? Take it to the next level

Years ago, we “courted”. Probably only people our families already knew, and always with marriage in mind. But nowadays we “date”!

Dating’s all about having fun, especially when you’re young. But once you start seriously thinking about marriage, all that needs to change. 

Like you need to meet loads more people! Because that increases the chance of finding a good match. Avoid endless unsuccessful relationships by screening potential partners with some “purpose driven small talk”. And only date someone who gets a tick in every box.

With them you can cut to the chase. Send a message right after you swap phone numbers: “Hi Annie, it’s Bob. Save my number.” No gimmicks. It’s hugely impressive when you just say clearly what you want.

So no more endless “Hey, what’s up?” texts. Instead quickly send a firm and confident invitation to something specific, including options on timing: “Hi Claire, it’s Dave. How about we meet for coffee at…? What’s your weekend like?”

Identifying yourself avoids any “WHO’S THIS???” replies. And the timing question shifts things from “Do I want to go out?” to “Which time works best?”

ONE YEAR TOPS!

If she’s genuinely busy she’ll offer alternatives. So what if she doesn’t? Just say something like: “OK, another time,” wait a week or so and try again. If she still refuses, then let it drop.

You should also make it clear that you’re actually going on a date together. And not just hanging out. Don’t know the difference? A date’s planned, just the two of you, and he sets everything up. And pays! Going on a real date means you’re serious. So you both have exactly the same expectations going forward.

Send a simple message on the day to check things are still on: “Hey, we still good for coffee?” And after each date, text right away. Ask if your friend got home OK, say you had a good time, and refer back to a moment you shared.

Your first dates should build on the purpose driven small talk. So start asking all the important questions upfront. Be prepared to move on if you discover anything weird. No red flags? From now on, everything will go well!

Be more modest than when you’re just having fun. And stay sober. Because you need a clear head while you’re decision making!

And don’t try to sell a more successful version of yourself. Just be you. Because if your new partner genuinely likes the real you, you’ll have a really good relationship together.

Dating shouldn’t last for more than a year or so. So don’t date for four! No excuses. People have been marrying after around a year for thousands of years.

And start to leave your single life behind. Because married people who act like they’re still single cause endless grief. So stop flirting. Or sharing intimate secrets with others. Or only thinking about yourself. Instead, sincerely commit yourself to your partner. And then your marriage will be joyful!