THAT'S LIFE: Don’t blink while life is happening

They are usually all types of shoes, school shoes, sports shoes, sandals and ugly crocs lying by the front door. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • For two weeks. For the first time in my parenting life, I got to taste what it was like not to have children. For one, there were no shoes by the front door.

  • Secondly, the TV or music system remote was always where I had left it. The fridge was overflowing with food and a packet of fruit juice actually lasted a week.

  • Plus the house was spotlessly clean. It was great. Terribly great. By the second day, I begun to miss them.

There’s always a bunch of shoes by our front door. That’s normally the case when you have a “no-shoes-in-the-house” policy and four teens living under your roof.

They are usually all types of shoes, school shoes, sports shoes, sandals and ugly crocs lying by the front door. It used to be the first thing I would see when I got home and to stop myself from tearing my hair out, I opted to buy a shoe rack. Sometimes they actually use it.

Thing is, those shoes by the door always bugged me and it was usually the first greeting my children heard, “Can’t you keep your shoes tidy?” I would ask as I manouevered over the mountain of shoes in dire need of some kiwi polish. Then late last year, my brood all went off to camp.

For two weeks. For the first time in my parenting life, I got to taste what it was like not to have children. For one, there were no shoes by the front door.

Secondly, the TV or music system remote was always where I had left it. The fridge was overflowing with food and a packet of fruit juice actually lasted a week. Plus the house was spotlessly clean. It was great. Terribly great. By the second day, I begun to miss them.

Even the house-help announced that she wanted some time off as the house was, to put it in her words, boaring bila watoto.

Thankfully, my house was soon back to it’s messy and noisy self when they returned. I never thought I would be glad to see an empty fridge but when I opened the door and almost everything had been eaten, I sighed with contentment. Ah, the joys of parenting.

WAKE-UP CALL

Those two weeks were a much needed wake-up call. My children would only be with me for a moment and I could chose to cherish it or spend it complaining over shoes at my front door. But that’s human nature, isn’t it. We are always looking forward to a “better” or “more perfect” day that we take today for granted.

We focus on what we think are its flaws, not seeing the beauty of its imperfections.

Sadly, when it is gone, it is gone for good and we can only look back with nostalgia at a memory that we had but didn’t fully appreciate at the time.

Country musician Trace Adkins captures it well in his song, “You’re gonna miss this” in which he reminds a young woman to treasure the days of her life while she is in school, when she moves into her first house to when she becomes a mother. At each stage of her life, when she is saying things like, “I can’t wait to grow up and make my own money and rules,” he sings in response, “You’re gonna miss this. You’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast.

These are some good times so take a good look around. You may not know it now, but you’re gonna miss this.”

That song and my two-week break for my children made me craft a new life philosophy. It is this: while life is happening, don’t blink. Take it all in.

Don’t miss the moment because your mind is elsewhere while your loved ones are seated across the table from you. Don’t miss the sunset. Don’t miss the opportunity to laugh during a sitcom or cuddle on a cold day. Be present when your children want to talk to you. A day may come when you are begging them to call you on the phone even once a week.

Enjoy your body while it is young and agile. Don’t obsess over how short, tall or fat you are. See all the amazing things you can do with it and all the places you can go.

A day may come when your gait is slow and you are unable to dance all night without spending the next day in hospital.

Enjoy the opportunities life presents you. Don’t miss the game or concert of a lifetime when it comes to town. Don’t turn down the opportunity to meet interesting but culturally diverse people. It all goes by so fast.

So we are here. Today. Look around you. See the minor irritations for what they are – reminders that life may not be perfect but it is still gloriously wonderful.