Dutiful men with just one side-dish: ‘kafry’

A few days ago, while having my nails done in one of the many multi-purpose stalls springing up in the city centre, I could not help overhearing a conversation between a middle-aged man and a young woman.

The man, who seemed to be in his early 40s, was manning an M-Pesa shop within the stall, while the young woman, a beautician, had just finished doing a pedicure — told you the stall was multi-purpose!

“I am not one of those men who treat their wives like slaves ...” he declared in his mother tongue, adding that since he leaves for work very early in the morning, he does not bother to take breakfast at home, preferring to have it in town, rather than wake his wife up to prepare it. Now, there’s a thoughtful man, I said to myself, even though we human beings are inclined to paint ourselves in flattering colours to those who don’t know us.

As for supper, he continued, he did not take any, since the one meal he had in town during the day was enough (tumbukiza, ugali and a glass of blended nduma and pumpkin, if you want to know), so when he got home, which was normally after 9 pm, he would simply go to bed, especially since his family had already had supper, and was preparing to go to bed.

“My wife does not have to wait for me or wake up to warm my food, like most others do,” he added for good measure.

“What a considerate man!” I told myself again, though maybe he was saying this to impress the young woman.

GREASY FRIES

Anyway, at this point, I managed to sneak a quick look at the man, and figured that he could have been telling the truth about foregoing supper because he did not have such a big frame.

In retrospect, though, if you ate all that for lunch, your stomach would groan at the thought of supper. But I digress. Sounding fascinated, the young woman wanted to know whether his wife wondered where he had his meals, since it was evident that he only ate his wife’s food on Christmas Day. Unfortunately, I did not get to hear his reply because, at that moment, a customer who wanted a manicure walked in, and the young woman went to attend to her.

Interestingly, the following morning, Maina Kageni’s topic (on Classic FM) was about men who rarely eat in their homes, and what this tells their wives. You should have heard the furious women who called in, convinced that men who rarely ate at their homes were unfaithful.

No, they had not caught their husbands cheating, but wasn’t the lack of appetite for food cooked in your own home an obvious sign of playing hanky-panky with another woman?

Well, if that M-Pesa man listened to the debate on radio that morning, he was probably offended, because according to him, the only reason he didn’t eat at home was out of consideration for his wife. I wonder though, whether his wife believes him.

Some time ago, I wrote about men who have a habit of passing by a “Kenchic” joint in the evening before going home — have you noticed that we call every fast food joint in the city “Kenchic”, even when it is not?

Anyway, these men are not interested in the greasy chips, just the chicken, which they gobble up before catching the next matatu home. Will such a man take supper?

No, just because your husband does not eat at home does not necessarily mean that he has a side-dish, it could be something as innocent as the fact that he normally has a heavy lunch like the M-Pesa guy, or that he had a ka-quarter before heading home, or that he had nyama choma and soup at the local bar an hour before heading home.

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Your article last Sunday was such a pleasant read. I especially connected with the nitakucall promises, and yes, I have a friend whose opening line goes, “I am a Catholic and my mother never taught me to lie...” I laughed so hard when you said “they are probably serial liars”. And you we right. Thanks for sharing such stories.                                

Sitati

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The nitakucall article was on point. I hate to say this but what of us Kikuyus who always end telephone conversations with nítùkwaria . I’m sure you have said that more than a dozen times.                 

Arthur

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Your article addressed a habit that a majority of us encounter. My lecturer once told me that communication is deemed complete when the receiver receives, understands the subject and then responds. If it is being “busy” we are all busy, the important thing is creating time.                

Mutuku

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It’s rude if you don’t call back after promising to and I am not worth your time. Also, if I met WhatsApp guys, I would ask them to create a way when one leaves a group no-one notices.                           

Macharia

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It was 8pm and we were all chitty-chatty until she texted “goodnight I’m sleepy talk kesho.” Four hours later, she was still online in a WhatsApp group we share.         

Ndun’gu

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Once again you are spot on when it comes to the true reflection of the society today. People lie on the phone without blinking an eye... What do you make of this guy I was seated next to in a matatu...talking on his phone at the top of his voice, he lied that he was on his way to Mombasa — yet the matatu was headed to Githurai. You can imagine the laughter in the matatu.                    

Gachiengu