Embracing God’s plan for marriage

We can summarise God’s plan for marriage with four negatives and four positives. No adultery, no polygamy, no roving eyes, no divorce and remarriage.

Marriage is for union and for children. Marriage is a call from God that leads to holiness. Marriage foreshadows the mystery of God’s kingdom.

No adultery: A young man asked Jesus what he had to do to enter into eternal life. Jesus answered: “If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”

He said, “Which ones?”

Jesus replied, “These: You shall not kill. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not give false witness.”

No polygamy: St Paul wrote in First Corinthians: “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and in the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

No roving eyes: Jesus said, “You have heard how it was said: You shall not commit adultery. But I say this to you: If a man looks at a woman lustfully, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

No divorce and remarriage: We read in St Mark’s gospel: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another is guilty of adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another she is guilty of adultery too.”

 Union: We read in Genesis: “God said, ‘It is not right that the man should be alone ... God made the man fall into a deep sleep ... God fashioned the rib he had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man ... This is why a man leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Children: We read in Genesis: “God created them male and female. He blessed them, saying, ‘Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.’”

Holiness: In Matthew’s gospel we hear our Lord tell us about God’s plan for marriage. When a man leaves his father and mother to take a wife, the two become one.

Jesus insists that God is the one who joins the two together. If God does it, it must be holy.

God’s kingdom: St Paul wrote in Ephesians: “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife and the two become one flesh. This is a great mystery, and I tell you that it refers to Christ and the Church.”

The most ancient African commentary on these texts says: “How can I describe the joy of a marriage united by the Church? When husband and wife are servants of each other, nothing separates them either in the flesh or in the spirit.”