That’s life: Forget the radio call-ins and seek out real experts

Forget the radio call-ins and seek out real experts. PHOTO | FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • From 10 Secrets To Make You Super Rich to 100 Ways To Be Happy Everyday. They all promise something.

  • Buy this book, take this pill or sign up for our newsletter, they say. Most of the time, we fall for it. Because if someone took the time to write it and put it out there, it must be true, right? Not so.

We was an insurance sales agent with an interesting product. Only I wasn’t buying. It wasn’t the product. I just couldn’t get past him.

“It’s the best. You must get it,” he urged. Even he didn’t seem convinced. Not only that, when I asked probing questions, he fumbled, “Let me ask my supervisor and get back to you on that.”

In life, there’s always someone peddling something. Sometimes it is a product they don’t believe in but are paid to sell. Other times, it is a lie. Occasionally, it is free advice.

Take free advice. The problem is sometimes it can be faulty. You just have to Google key words like rich, happy or healthy, and anybody who can write has posted something online.

From 10 Secrets To Make You Super Rich to 100 Ways To Be Happy Everyday. They all promise something.

Buy this book, take this pill or sign up for our newsletter, they say. Most of the time, we fall for it. Because if someone took the time to write it and put it out there, it must be true, right? Not so.

You see, the best advice and sales pitch doesn’t come from the back of a book or box, but from testimonials. That’s why we love Trip Advisor and review ratings. We find it easier to believe what people who have tested a product or service and are not paid to market it say. I usually check these out first before I make a decision to buy a book or book a holiday.

That’s the power of word of mouth, the power of people who have lived through the experience you are contemplating.

So why is it that we run helter-skelter when seeking advice on child rearing, relationships, business or money?

How do we buy advice on how to parent from someone who has never been a parent? How do we take advice on where to invest our money from a person who is struggling financially?

How do we go to a bridal shower and take in marital advice from our girlfriends who are just as clueless as we are? And how do we take business advice from that employed colleague whose only reference is his cousin who runs a business?

That’s not to say that these people who have not lived through the experience we want to take have nothing to offer us.

They can give us valuable insight, point us to the right people and even have some intuition. Sometimes, because they are so far from the issue at hand, they can see it more clearly while we are still stumped. So do give what they have to say some weight, especially if they are close friends and family.

But here’s who you have to watch out for: the real experts. Seek out and listen to the people who have the results you are looking for in relationships, health, business, serenity and wealth.

The best person to tell you how to stay sober is the recovering alcoholic. The best parenting advice comes from those who have raised grown-up children who turned out right.

You will find some great relationship gems, not from your girlfriends or the radio call-ins but from the couple who  are still together after 50 years.

MUST LISTEN TO KEENLY

However, there’s another group of people you must listen to keenly for they offer a cautionary tale. They are the ones who almost made it. Sometimes what they have to say is even more profound.

They went in, as you are about to, but theirs is not a tale of success. However, they left footprints to lead your way — away.

From the person who gambled and lost all their family wealth to the child who ran away from home and never returned.

They lost their way and sadly, never found it. Listen and do not judge for you are not there yet. Don’t be tempted to think, “that could never happen to me.”

Make time for the real experts, people who have done what you want to do, or been where you want to go. Listen to those who made it and those who didn’t. Sieve the advice, and make it work for you.

Almost always, the best advice comes from people who took their own advice first and have the scars and stars to show for it.