Guide to nurturing natural hair

Like any other Naturalista I am on a constant search for longer, thicker, softer hair. Over time I noticed there were concerns that kept showing up. Things that women will never find an answer to. I made a list.

1. Will my hair ever look like the Naturalistas of Instagram?

Well, no. Because the Naturalistas of Instagram are women of different races. There is this specific kind of ideal hair that is jaw dropping. It also makes Naturalistas feel deflated, leaving us to Google “how to grow my hair longer.”

Imagine my surprise when over time I realised some of the hair we fall in love with and berate ourselves for not having are occasionally brilliantly styled crochet braids, weaves or hair extensions. Of course plenty a woman does have long, thick, luxuriant hair. I cannot deny. Still, where is the benefit of wanting someone else’s hair?

2. Why doesn’t my texture look like that?

I know this Kenyan Naturalista. I love her thick, dark, beautiful head of hair. Every single time someone compliments her she says “My hair is like steel wool!” It’s the kind of texture that is not highly acclaimed because it is a large dark kinky cloud with no trace of curls. She categorises it as 4C hair.

The thing is, her hair is strong and healthy. But that is not what she sees. Instead, her bathroom is filled with curl enhancers, curling gels, curling creams, curling butters and curling lotions.

She spends hours practising and perfecting her bantu knots and twist out skills with the intention of altering her texture. All manner of manipulation is applied to change their hair into a trendier, sexier, more Instagram worthy kind of hair. And it is time consuming, starting the day before wash day to three-day old curls.

3. Edges, edges, edges

Weeks back, I was judging a group of hairdressers styling natural hair. I noticed they had a penchant for scraping the hair off the face with tiny-toothed combs, brushes and gel. The hairstyles, for some reasons only known to them, was not right until the edges were tamed, gelled to submission.

It could just be me, but I would swear our cottony African hair is happy lifting itself off our scalp. The hair all around the head aka edges suffer a great deal from hair pulling and hair disciplining. It is totally unnecessary. Let it breathe.

4. What products do you/should I use on your/my hair? Please share

This question has been emailed to me countless of times. I never quite know where to start. There is no universal list of hair products that can be sent out as a bulletin. Sure, raw unrefined coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil, eggs, honey and shea butter make an appearance at some point in every naturalistas life, but they don’t work for everyone.

You will have to go from a point of ignorance, to researching, to buying everything under the sun that will meet your needs, and one day wake up to realise there is a room filled with hair products and that you need to scale down and be more discerning.

You are simply going to have to experience the products for yourself. That’s just the way it is.

5. That hairstyle isn’t pretty

Also known as the “I would never wear my hair like” that syndrome. It is a fact that if you do not like a hairstyle, you won’t ever try it or think whoever has it looks pretty. Or, as is more often the case, natural hair is still subject to taming. If the hair looks neat, tidy, respectable and not big and wild, it is ‘good’ hair.

Locks are great if they are styled. Afros are better when they have a puff. Clip, pin, bun, insert, smoothen your hair, and it is elevated to nice and pretty. Then you can live happily ever after frolicking with other prim hair.

6. Should it really take a week to wash my hair?

There is this pair of American Naturalistas, Ayana Byrd and Lori Tharps, who wrote a book, Hair Story, Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America. Their research went as far back as West Africa in the 1400s.

They found that, yes, natural hair has always required and been, an intricate, time consuming process. Mothers, sisters, daughters and friends would set aside hours to do each other’s hair, and they would spend time getting to know each other. Perfectly proving, dear men, that women have always gone to the salon for hours at a time.

So yes, the products and techniques may have changed, but it is historically proven time stands still when women gather around to do their hair. So suck it up. Your great great great great great great grandmother went through this with her Girl Squad so that there would be generations of a healthy-haired sisterhood.