MWALIMU ANDREW: How plot to conduct holiday tuition in church was hatched

Before I got married, I considered myself a man – a real man by Mwisho wa Lami standards. This means that my emotions would never be affected by my wife, at all. True, Mwisho wa Lami men like Rasto, Nyayo and Alphayo do what they want in their homes, how they want it, when they want it. Well it used to be like that for me, before Fiolina went to college.

But once she joined college, a different Fiolina emerged: Strong, assertive, unshaken. She considers herself my equal and as such, thinks she can stand up to me.

I can’t describe the state Fiolina took me to when she sold my beloved blue iron sheets. My life came to a standstill two weeks ago when I made this discovery, and even though today I say I survived the ordeal and have recovered, it still hurts. This was the case two weeks ago when the  exam result were released. As you know, I had a big stake in this year’s Kenya Certificate of Primary Education (KCSE) candidates. However, I was psychologically prepared for the exams to be released just around Christmas.

EXAM RESULTS

But Matiang’i pulled a fast one on us, releasing the exam results very early, and at a time when my world was upside down, especially after  losing my beloved iron sheets. During this period, I was just sitting in the house, brooding, far from the outside world. Matters were not helped by the fact that I did not have money. A little money would have made life bearable as it would have given me a voice – at Hitler’s.

So it wasn’t until last Saturday that news about the exams reached me. It was from Apostle Elkana, The Revered Spiritual Superintendent of THOAG (The Holiest of All Ghosts) Tabernacle Assembly, when he came to check on me.

“Why are you not joining the celebrations yet your students have done so well,” he said after settling.

“Very good, you mean my school did well, what was the mean score?” I asked. Having not handled this year’s candidates, I didn’t expect  an improvement in the performance.

“I have not seen the results,” he said,” “But I hear the top student had 250 points.” That was great news indeed.

“The school didn’t do well, but the students you coached with Tito did very well,” he went on. I had even forgotten that I coached students at Tito’s Busy Bee Academy of Tuition and Advanced Learning. I had deliberately decided to forget about the matter in order to reduce the pain of Tito paying me nothing after making money for him.

“We have a thanksgiving service with the students and parents later today.” I tried calling Tito but he did not answer my calls. Apostle Elkana invited me to the ceremony.

I kept calling Tito to no avail. At around 10am, I mustered some energy and left the house for Tito’s place and home to Busy Bee Academy for Tuition and Advanced Learning. I am the one who had come up with the name, so I needed to be part of the celebration. I found a few parents there.

“Thank you Andrea,” said one of the parents as I greeted them. “I had known that my son will fall the exams but you really worked on him.” 

“Thank you,” I said. I have never quite figured how to respond to anyone telling me thank you.

I walked straight to Tito, who was in front of the class. Tito had taken the marks of all the students who had gone through our tuition and worked out the mean score.

It was amazing to note that students, all from different schools in the neighbourhood had a mean score of 216.4. What an amazing performance. In the last few years, no school had attained a mean score of above 210 in our environs.

For us to work on students for three weeks and help them get 214 was evidence that we did a good job. Tito was shocked to see me, but he feigned happiness.

TITO'S DEFENCE

“Welcome Dre,” he said. “I have really been looking for you.” When I reminded him that he had not called me, he claimed to have lost my number. “Hata nilikuwa nimetuma mtu kwako,” he could not, however, say whom he had sent.

The programme was short. The students were paraded and Apostle Elkana prayed for them, followed by speeches from parents. Most parents were happy and asked if we could begin an early tuition. “Mlifanya hivi wiki mbili, mkifanya mwaka je?” Several parents actually asked us to begin tuition this December.

“Watoto wametuchosha nyumbani,” one of them said.

After the parents, Tito spoke. He invited me to speak in between his speech, and judging by how parents cheered, it was clear who was responsible for the good performance.

There was only tea and once parents and students dispersed, Tito called me. He thanked me for coming and apologised for not inviting me early enough.

“You have heard the parents want December tuition,” he said. “How do we do it without Matiang’i knowing?” We had heard of several teachers who had been arrested for conducting tuition.

We could not do it at the school nor could we do it at his home. “They are checking even private schools like this one of mine,” he said. “Help me think of a good idea that will help us make money. We need money for Christmas.”

The idea struck me when I was on the way home, and I immediately walked back to Tito’s place. I was happy to get Apostle Elkana still there, for I needed his support on my idea. In fact, I found them taking about how to conduct tuition without being arrested.

“I have an idea,” I said as soon as I could speak.

“We do the tuition at Apostle Elkana’s THOAG church but call it a bible study and Christian training camp,” I said

 “You are spot on Dre!” said Tito. With everyone in agreement, we went through how we would implement the idea, and how we would share the money.

Clean slate

Tito apologised for short-changing me last time but promised to behave well this time round. We agreed that Apostle Elkana would handle Christian teachings and offer prayers; I would handle upper classes while Tito would handle lower classes. Apostle Elkana would also handle the money. That was last Saturday.

By Tuesday, fliers were flying across Mwisho wa Lami and its environs, the work of Tito. Busy Bee Bible Camp was the name of the school. It would offer Spiritual Nourishment and Academic Support.

While he didn’t explicitly say we would be having holiday tuition, the fact that he indicated yours truly as one of the teachers was a clear sign to anyone who could read between the lines that there would be holiday tuition.

The cost would be Sh300 per child per week. By last Friday when we met at THOAG, several parents had already shown interest. About four had already paid and we agreed that we would begin the programme tomorrow.

“We need to see the book where payments are recorded,” I said. This was shot down by both Tito and Apostle Elkana, both who said we must work with trust. Although I did not trust any of them, I had faith that they wouldn’t disappoint. And I would rather lose some money than make no money at all!

So starting tomorrow, as other teachers countrywide drink and idle around, I will be among the few teachers who will be making money. A great Christmas awaits me and my family!

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