How to find and keep the man of your dreams

You’ve been dating a guy you thought was just right — but somehow he’s just simply disappeared?

It might be because he’s the sort of flaky guy you’re better off without. But what if it’s happening all the time? Maybe you’re unconsciously attracting the bad guys.

Fix that by only meeting men in places where you already know something about them — like through work or mutual friends. And don’t even start thinking of dating someone before you’ve checked him out thoroughly.

Already doing that? And men still flake on you? It could be something you’re doing…

Like pursuing him instead of letting him pursue you. Too many messages, calling him to find out why he hasn’t contacted you…

A man needs to feel like he’s the man in the relationship. So let him be the one who’s chasing you. Enjoy your friends, your own interests, and don’t always be instantly available.

FLIRTING GAME

By all means flirt, but no manipulation games. They’ll get you lots of instant attention — but he’ll see through them eventually, and wonder why he ever liked you in the first place.

Beware of over-analysing every situation: “what does he mean by that? shouldn’t he have called? maybe he doesn’t like me…?” Instead just focus on enjoying yourself and having fun together.

Know your boundaries, and say no to anything that you’re not comfortable with. And don’t imagine that he knows what you want. Men can’t read minds. So say what you need — he’ll be happy to give it to you. And you won’t sit around waiting for him to make the right guesses…

A good man needs you to show him that you’re interested. Playing hard to get only attracts the macho, game playing bad guys.

A good guy will be afraid of ending up in your “friend zone”. So if you’re not showing that you’re sexually attracted to him, he’ll cut his losses and go find someone who is.

Above all, if you want to create a committed relationship with a good guy, you need to make an authentic connection with him. And that starts right on your first date — in fact right from the moment you meet, whether in person or online.

It doesn’t matter how fascinating your life seems on Facebook or Instagram, you won’t be able to hide the truth once you’re dating. And don’t try to be someone you aren’t when you first meet face to face.

So dress and behave to show your real personality. Be a good listener instead of trying to impress. And be completely honest. That’s not easy,  to begin with, but don’t over-share — like not saying too much about past relationships. But if your date asks, it’s not a good idea to lie.

Gradually open up as you learn that you can trust him, expect him to be genuine and honest in return, and if he is, chances are he’ll never disappear!