How to have a rich Christmas without splurging

There is something about Christmas, and the entire festive season marking the end of the year, that makes you want to go out and treat yourself to something special. PHOTO | FILE

What you need to know:

  • The spending bug seems to bite most at Christmas, when a wave of consumerism makes us feel that we have to spend excessively to make the season special. It doesn’t help that the most common question now is probably, “What are you doing for Christmas?
  • Driven by the thought that everyone would find out about his sorry state of affairs, he called up everyone and invited them for a party which he is financing using the savings he knows he should be holding on to.
  • It seems like overspending is a psychological issue more than it is about poor planning. The good news is that the experts think that it can be fixed.

There is something about Christmas, and the entire festive season marking the end of the year, that makes you want to go out and treat yourself to something special.

It is that time of the year again and everyone is under immense pressure from the media, their loved ones and even themselves to spend.

Maybe you feel you deserve to reward yourself in a big way as is the tradition during the holidays.

Advertisers don’t make it any easier for you; they are hot on your heels appealing to your feelings of inadequacy and making you think that you need the latest gadget, product, and getaway or that you need to give the most impressive gifts to your loved ones to make Christmas memorable.

The spending bug seems to bite most at Christmas, when a wave of consumerism makes us feel that we have to spend excessively to make the season special. It doesn’t help that the most common question now is probably, “What are you doing for Christmas?

And where are you going away to this time? These questions suggest that doing the usual won’t wash; you are expected to go out of your way to make it exceptional, because after all, Christmas comes but once a year.

PERFECT CHRISTMAS

The problem with caving in to the pressure to impress that comes with this annual holiday, is that the consequences spill over into the new year in form of depressing bank balances weighed against a stack of unpaid bills.

In some cases, even those who are lucky enough to receive the 13th pay cheque at the end of the year are not spared this headache.

Yet this financial crisis that follows the festive season is one that can be avoided altogether. You don’t have to splash your money around to have a Christmas to remember.

However, to curb this tradition of overspending, one needs to know what triggers it. Consummerism maybe the most obvious trigger of extravagance during the holidays but is it the only thing fueling our desire to go over the top to celebrate Christmas?

What is driving your quest for that perfect Christmas at whatever cost? The reasons may surprise you.

This Christmas, 31-year-old Duncan is throwing a big party for his extended family at his parent’s home in Murang’a.

This father of two isn’t splurging on his relatives because he has a lot of disposable income. The reality is in fact the opposite.

He lost his job unexpectedly a month ago. When a female relative found out, she took to spreading the word back home.

Driven by the thought that everyone would find out about his sorry state of affairs, he called up everyone and invited them for a party which he is financing using the savings he knows he should be holding on to.

From where he stands, a personal financial struggle in the coming months seems better than everyone finding out the true state of his finances.

Clara’s is a classic tale of rags to riches. At 35, she is a successful business woman but at one point of her life, when she was at rock bottom, she was a destitute single mother working as a house maid to fend for her son.

CONCEALED FINANCES

When you observe her, just from her dressing, it is clear that she likes to enjoy the finer things in life.

This Christmas, she has planned a two-week holiday for her and her now teenage son outside the country. Is she compensating for a poor childhood? I ask.

“No, we deserve all this. What better time to have it than at Christmas?” she poses.

Sure, she can afford all these holiday things but she doesn’t need them and she will have to work even harder next year to balance her finances.

She may not realise it but it is clear that driven by a past riddled with lack, she is using the Christmas season to justify her extravagance.

Mwende, a 25-year-old working as a personal assistant has just taken out a Sh10, 000 loan from her chama to indulge her five-year-old with a bike and an outing on Christmas day.

“I have been so busy working and going to school in the evenings I have barely seen him this year,” she explains her decision.

Mwende will not be the only parent going way beyond her means this Christmas trying to make up for time spent away from her children during the year.

For every one such parent, there will be another parent who may have spent adequate time with their child during the year but who doesn’t want their child to miss out on getting that expensive gift and they will end up getting caught up in the holiday frenzy.

Concealing the true state of your finances, trying to make up for a poor childhood and using gifts to make up for missed moments in the year are three reasons you may be spending money on things you can’t afford this season.

It seems like overspending is a psychological issue more than it is about poor planning. The good news is that the experts think that it can be fixed.

Hamida Ahmed, a psychologist who runs a private practice in Nairobi, labels both Duncan and Clara as attention-seeking shoppers explaining that their spending decisions are swayed by other people’s opinions.

A telltale sign of this individual, she says, is that they are likely to show off their purchases, talk about them or post pictures of what they bought or where they went on social media. Sadly, most of them do not do it consciously.

SPLURGING MONEY

During past holidays, have you bought things for yourself and for other people so that you could feel like you belong? Are you in the habit of spending more on wants as opposed to needs?

You may be spending too much money in a bid to buy love or acceptance.

It isn’t the easy thing to do especially in a status-obsessed society but author Olivia Mellan in her book Overcoming Overspending argues that honesty in such situations will help you get a handle on your finances.

Your real friends, those people worth having in your life will not want you driling a hole in your wallet on their account. They might even surprise you with suggestions of cheaper alternatives.

For the guilt-ridden overcompensating parent or friend, Nairobi-based child psychologist Julius Gitari suggests making a commitment to building your relationship with this person or child to such a level that they understand just because you are not spending time with them doesn’t mean that you think of them less.

Instead of splurging this money, save it up and invest in something that will have more meaning in this child’s life than a bike.

Missing the true meaning of Christmas?

Sociologist Lazarus Kibe reckons that the reason Kenyans are digging themselves further into a financial rut at the end of every year is that following family traditions of uninhibited spending on Christmas, we are missing the true meaning of Christmas.

“The true meaning of Christmas is not gifts under a tree. It is a celebration of love.

It is about being together and enjoying your loved ones most of which will cost nothing. The reality is that most of those extravagant gifts will not be appreciated and are fast forgotten. It is like buying a child an expensive toy only for them to be mesmerised by the box it came in,” he illustrates.

In his view, to break this tradition of extravagance, we’ll need to get to the seasonal basics and find out what Christmas is about. This way, when you spend you will be more likely to buy meaningful experiences as opposed to thoughtless pricey gifts.

Tips to keep Christmas spending on the low

  • Gifts are an essential part of the season but you don’t have to go overboard.

    Get creative with gift giving. Consider handmade gifts or re-gifting gifts you’ve received in the past that are lying dormant in your storage closet. Someone else might have more use for it than you do.

  • Utilise your skills.

    You can decide to do the baking, painting or flower arrangements, decorations or cards yourself to cut the costs.
    Use cash because unlike credit or debit cards, cash is tangible and you will be less likely to get carried away while shopping.

  • Compare store and internet shopping because sometimes shopping online is cheaper.

  • Overeating is another Christmas sin which leads to overspending.

    During the festive season, we tend to cook and eat as much as possible. Try cooking food in the right proportions this Christmas.
    If you are the kind that is easily swayed by television adverts that make you feel inadequate, it may be a good idea to turn off your television this season. Try reading or watching movies for leisure instead.

  • To limit the pressure to spend, try not going shopping with a person who is likely to put pressure on you to buy things, be it a child or a friend.

  • The season comes with alcohol. Don’t shop when you’ve had too much to drink. Also try shopping when there is less traffic in the shops and you do not feel hurried to pick the first item you see on the shelf.