MY WEEKEND: Key life lessons from smokers

Were we to behave like smokers in our day-to-day lives, year after year, there would be no tribalism and class.

FILE PHOTO | NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • No money changes hands, the giving is done with no strings attached and it is devoid of the many biases the rest of us non-smokers have.
  • Interestingly, I have observed that the smokers who borrow match boxes and lighters from one another are not exactly buddies; the only time they hang out with one another is when they are smoking, and only because they can only smoke at a certain point, which tells me that they don’t really know one another because rarely do smokers make small talk when they converge at spots set aside for doing their thing.

Say what you will about smokers, but they can teach us Kenyans invaluable lessons regarding tolerance and acceptance. And God knows just how desperately we need these two values.

A smoker’s need for nicotine transcends tribe, county, level of education and the amount of money each one has in their wallet at that point of need; that is why you will find total strangers lighting one another’s cigarettes on the streets or at designated smoking points. They are not  suspicious of a fellow smoker that suddenly stops before them in the street, hand outstretched, holding a cigarette.

They don’t care what tribe he is, whether he has a wide nose or narrow one or whether he has a forehead or complexion that looks like it belongs to a certain tribe.

The borrower of the fire need not say anything to the one with a lit up cigarette, all he has to do is hold out his unlit stick, and immediately, no questions asked, no visible hesitation, and no whiff of suspicion, the smoking cigarette is proffered, and then the one who offers the fire stands patiently as his friend in need lights up.

I find this kind of camaraderie among smokers admirable, just short of heart-warming.

Here in the office, I see them borrowing one another matchboxes and lighters. Nothing much is said between them, just a word or two and the one with a matchbox or lighter reaches into their drawer or bag and produces it.

DEVOID OF BIASES

No money changes hands, the giving is done with no strings attached and it is devoid of the many biases the rest of us non-smokers have.

Interestingly, I have observed that the smokers who borrow match boxes and lighters from one another are not exactly buddies; the only time they hang out with one another is when they are smoking, and only because they can only smoke at a certain point, which tells me that they don’t really know one another because rarely do smokers make small talk when they converge at spots set aside for doing their thing. And yet they accept one another at face value just because they are bound by that one need.

Why then do we, who are tied by many common needs, treat each other like pariahs? Especially if we don’t know each other?

Think about it, we all wake up every morning to work so that we are able to take care of, and provide for ourselves or our families. We all get sick at some point, we all hope that our children will grow up to become productive and successful members of society.

Insecurity, joblessness and poor health care are all fears most of us go through at some point. We have been taken for a ride by a dishonest and greedy MP, governor and MCA who promised us heaven if we voted for him or her. Surely, all these common denominators should bind us, not scuttle us.

Were we to behave like smokers in our day-to-day lives, year after year, there would be no tribalism.

I mean, smokers don’t ask one another which part of the country they come from, what their second name is, what tribe their spouse is, where they went to school or where they work, and no, they do not make tribal conclusions or comments.

They are a community of smokers, period.

 

[email protected]; Twitter: @cnjerius. The writer is the Daily Nation features editor