How thriving staffroom lunch club was banned

We had lunch but the soda delayed in coming. The cook apologised. By 2.20 pm, only Madam Mary was in class, the rest were waiting for soda. The sodas arrived at 2.30 pm, a few minutes before the first lesson was about to end. Just as we were taking the sodas, a boda boda bike arrived from nowhere. It had brought Bensouda. ILLUSTRATION | JOSEPH NYAGAH

What you need to know:

  • These are all young forward looking teachers who did not mind spending a little more to have decent lunch.  So when Sella suggested early this term that we should revamp the lunch club, it was an idea that everyone welcomed.
  • Most teachers paid, except Atika, Madam Mary, Lena and Saphire. But the aroma that hit Lena’s nostrils every lunch time quietly moved money from her pockets.
  • Last Thursday, or Terrific Thursday as we call it due to the chicken and soda, as expected, half an hour to lunchtime, the staffroom was full. Only Madam Mary and Mrs Atika were in class. The previous Thursday, the teachers who arrived late only got legs and wings left for them. No one wanted to struggle with wings and legs when other teachers had enjoyed indumbu and imondo.

For many years, attempts to have a successful lunch club in our staffroom have always hit a snag, mainly brought down by old teachers like Mrs Atika, Mr Lutta, Madam Mary and Madam Anita. Every time we started a lunch programme, they would not pay up on time, or not pay up at all; and when challenged, they would say how they have more problems than Isaack Hassan, the IEBC headmaster.

“You young men have nothing to do with your money,” Mrs Atika would say. “No wonder you want to turn the school into a hotel.”  She would pretend that her health doesn’t allow her to eat beef and other nice things whenever we asked teachers to contribute but whenever the same was provided, Mrs Atika would eat like there is no tomorrow.

As for Lutta, you have never seen a mean man like Lutta. Whoever invented the phrase mkono-gamu must have had Lutta in mind, for his money never sees the sun. “This is a school, not a fattening camp,” he said when asked to contribute towards lunch club. Thank God Mr Lutta left this school.

Luckily for me, in the last few years, this school has seen the joining of young, development-minded, progressive teachers. There is Kuya, the athletic muscular tight t-shirt wearing young man; Sella, the ambitions and hardworking lady who is also a student at Maseno University – although not necessarily a scholar like me.

Erick, the born-again young teacher who prays before and after everything. (I am reliably informed that he usually prays before and after every lesson). Then we have Lena. If you were to use her hair to guess her age, you would think that she is over 40, but she is not even 30. There is Nzomo, the fresh lady from Nunguni, Ukambani. She is always a breath of fresh air in the staffroom. Have I talked about yours truly? Young. Forward looking. Intellectual. Hardworking. Progressive. Tall. Dark. And handsome.

These are all young forward looking teachers who did not mind spending a little more to have decent lunch.  So when Sella suggested early this term that we should revamp the lunch club, it was an idea that everyone welcomed – expect Mrs Atika and Madam Mary. Saphire was not even around to say yes or no. We appointed Sella and Kuya to work on a budget and share with us.

LATE JUICE

They were back within the day and we agreed to contribute Sh950 per month. The menu was mouthwatering: Chapati and rice on Monday, beef on Tuesday, matumbo on Wednesday, chicken on Thursday; and rice ndengu on Friday. We would top dress this with a glass of juice every day except Thursday when it would be soda. No one needs calculator to know that Thursday remains my favourite school day – a day I cannot miss going to school whatever the circumstance.

We also agreed to be going out for lunch every first Friday of the month, at Kasuku Bar and Rest to choma nyama for lunch.

Most teachers paid, except Atika, Madam Mary, Lena and Saphire. But the aroma that hit Lena’s nostrils every lunch time quietly moved money from her pockets.

All of a sudden, the staffroom was always full, and absenteeism of teachers went down. With the lunch programme in place I can assure you that if Matiang’i were to visit our school any day, particularly Thursday, and just around lunch time; he would be disappointed. For he would find every teacher in school, and would have no quarrel to pick with anyone!

Madam Mary and Mrs Atika never liked the lunch idea. Every day, Mrs Atika would walk to her home for lunch. Madam Mary could not do the same as she came from far. Whenever she didn’t accompany Mrs Atika, she would sit outside the staffroom, under the mango tree, marking books, or let’s just say it, pretending to be marking books.

In a staff meeting earlier when it was still safe for Bensouda to be around, Mrs Atika complained about the lunch club.

“We know the lunch is delicious but can we prioritise what brought us to this school?” she said. “Some of you eat too much that you are always late for afternoon classes.”

“That is incorrect Mrs Atika,” said Kuya. “Do not generalise. Just one teacher going to class late one day should not make you generalise that we are all late.” Bensouda asked me for my opinion. I told her that all was well, and that the lunch club had increased motivation as teachers not had something to look forward to. It was the first time Kuya and I had agreed on anything. We even went ahead and recruited Bensouda, although we agreed to have her pay half, although she is never in school even half the time.

Last Monday, after lunch there was a delay in serving the juice. Some teachers went to class except those who did not have lessons. I had a class but there was no way I was going to class before taking juice. So I awaited and about half an hour later, the cook brought us the juice. There was only Kuya, Lena and myself in the staffroom. It was not our intention but the juice was so sweet that by the time the other teachers came back it was finished. I can’t remember the number of glasses I took but they were not so many.

Erick was livid. “We have all contributed the same amount so we need to have some respect,” he said.

“It’s quite unfair to take five glasses when you clearly know that some people have not taken anything,” said Sella. “This high school behaviour must stop.”

BURNED LUNCH CLUB

Last Thursday, or Terrific Thursday as we call it due to the chicken and soda, as expected, half an hour to lunchtime, the staffroom was full. Only Madam Mary and Mrs Atika were in class. The previous Thursday, the teachers who arrived late only got legs and wings left for them. No one wanted to struggle with wings and legs when other teachers had enjoyed indumbu and imondo.

We were all waiting for lunch to be served when a WhatsApp message from Madam Mary hit came through the official, boring staffroom WhatsApp group. “Good people, I know chicken is delicious but how can we leave class half an hour before lunch time? Let’s be considerate”

I wanted to respond but I saw “Bensouda typing…” and waited for her to finish. The message finally came. “I wouldn’t like to belive what Mary has said above. Dre, confirm that it is untrue.”

I responded and said that all was well, only two teachers, who didn’t have lessons were in the staffroom. “Let me believe you,” she wrote back.

We had lunch but the soda delayed in coming. The cook apologised. By 2.20 pm, only Madam Mary was in class, the rest were waiting for soda. The sodas arrived at 2.30 pm, a few minutes before the first lesson was about to end.

Just as we were taking the sodas, a boda boda bike arrived from nowhere. It had brought Bensouda.

“What is happening here?” she asked. “Why is no one in class?”

“Dre called us for a small meeting…” started Kuya. “Stop it Kuya, I talked to Dre today and there was no meeting planned.”

“Madam headmistress,” said Mrs Atika, “People were waiting for soda as you can see. I told you this lunch club will finish this school but sikusikizwa.”

Sella explained that there was a small delay in delivering soda. The first lesson was over and Mary came to the staffroom. She added salt to injury by stating that teacher rarely attend the last lesson to lunch and first lesson after lunch. “These teachers are always just thinking about food,” she said.

“Can everyone go to class!” she ordered then called me to her office. She wanted to find out if it was now safe to come back and I told her things will be ok in two weeks’ time. She told me that she unhappy with me about the food story but I told her that I was not even an official of the lunch club. She called the cook and talked to her for a long time. She left school immediately after.

That evening, we received a WhatsApp message from her. “Good people, following extensive consultations, I have burned the ‘lunch club’ until farther notice. We will return to the school sponsored lunch from tomorrow. Have a restful evening.” And with that, out first even successful lunch club was over!