Reasons every working mother needs a wife

This past week on Wednesday, I spent an evening with a group of career women at a Nairobi hotel who wanted to hear me speak on the subject of work-life balance.

I assured them that I was no guru, only a work in progress, a woman trying to do the best she can everyday and praying that it was enough.

But it was their personal stories of juggling work, children, relationships and their health that got to me. Some spoke of sending a child to the doctors with a nanny because they couldn’t get a day off work. Others were juggling several businesses just to stay ahead financially and meet their goals.

I realised then that working women, particularly if they are mothers, still get the short end of the stick.

They have attained that great feminist ideal of climbing the corporate ladder, and doing everything a man can do but the only issue is they still have another full time job that they never really relinquished. Most people, including women themselves often underplay just what it takes to keep an office job, a home running, the children and spouse happy.

Looking at all those women, it hit me that what they all needed was a wife or two, as Judy Brady so famously penned in 1972 in Ms Magazine.

So if you are a working mother, single or married, don’t feel guilty for thinking it: you need a wife equivalent. That person must have high organisational skills while still being able to multitask with the dexterity of a circus juggler.

Back then, Ms Brady wrote: “I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school, I want a wife to take care of my children.

I want a wife to keep track of the children’s doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children’s clothes and keep them mended.

I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc.

Needless to say

“I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need  special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife’s income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while I am working. 

“I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me.

I want a wife who will keep my clothes  clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it.

I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and  then do the cleaning up while I do my studying.

I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathise with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation  so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and change of scene. 

I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife’s duties…” Enough said. So today let’s just take our hats off to every working mother in this nation.