From online rhetoric to street protests: Rise of Kilimani Mums

Before the debate on stripping of women gained momentum two weeks ago, Kilimani Mums was a little known Facebook group outside its 30,000 virtual followers.

They would occasionally join the conversation on various controversial issues, sometimes more robustly than most people — including when Saturday Nation columnist Njoki Chege wrote the piece, Ladies, it’s all your fault that he is cheating.

Some members of the forum named after a lush Nairobi neighbourhood did not take it kindly and went beyond social media to write a letter to the editor faulting the writer’s supposed naiveté on matters relationships and inferring that such articles should not be published. 

But in the last one week “Kilimani Mums” has hogged the limelight following the shocking incident at the Embassava matatu terminus in Nairobi when a woman was stripped naked and allegedly assaulted by a group of youths on the pretext that she was indecently dressed.

The video showing the incident was widely circulated on social media and inspired the hashtag MydressMyChoice. Since the first incident, at least 100 men have been arrested after another woman was attacked in Kayole.

This not only sparked fury among this group of women but also elicited varied reactions across the country.

Women, mostly from the Kilimani Mums group, went beyond hashtag activism, and rallied people to join a demonstration last Monday against the harassment of women.

With that, Kilimani Mums — described on their Facebook page as part of a “Mamas Support Network, a resource centre for families aiming to educate, train, support and advocate with families”— had jumped out of virtual space to be an influential voice offline.

The colourful demonstrations that starred many women wearing mini-skirts attracted hundreds, including high-profile personalities like Nairobi Woman Representative Rachael Shebesh, Runyenjes MP Cecily Mbarire and outspoken businesswoman-cum-politician Esther Passaris.

Chaired by Shaleen Keshavjee-Gulam, Kilimani Mums was formed in 2007 as a small group of women that visited each other and offered support on family-related issues. But the original team slowly disintegrated into smaller groups and Shaleen moved Kilimani Mums online in 2008.

Although the Facebook group started out with a handful of members, it has since grown and now boasts more than 29,000 followers.

The online group, now a movement in itself, promotes discussions on varied topics affecting mothers —  from finding house helps and dealing with infidelity to health matters.

INITIAL IDEA

Shaleen says sharing various issues online has helped a lot of women who would have otherwise suffered in silence.

“It is not in our culture to talk to psychiatrists; and we are embarrassed to talk to our families and in-laws about the issues affecting us. The community action displayed on the page is very encouraging and impressive,” she says.

Shaleen says that even though the group will continue with its usual online discussions, it will not shy away from lobbying and supporting women’s rights and any other worthwhile cause.

“Most people do not have a voice, but people listen when we speak in solidarity. It does not matter what tribe or social economic background you come from, all that matters is that we are a community,” said Shaleen.

But contrary to what the group’s name suggests, Kilimani Mums is now made up of people who live in different city estates and not only in Kilimani, the area from which the group derives its name.

The group consists of women from all walks of life; from lawyers and doctors to police women.

To open a window into how powerful the group’s voice is online, on Thursday, a member of the Kilimani Mums overheard what she thought was a conversation involving a child who had been kidnapped. 

Not knowing what to do, she posted the information on the page and within a short time her post had attracted more than 1,300 comments.

By the end of the evening, the police had been involved and on further investigation it was revealed that the baby’s mother was sick and admitted to Thika level 5 Hospital and the four-year-old had to be taken to a care centre.

Ruth Knaust, one of the organisers of the #MyDressMyChoice street protest says that initially, most key members of the group did not know each other.

But when a member shared the video of the lady being stripped in Nairobi, they decided to meet and work on a course of action. For her, it is more than fighting for a woman’s right to choose her clothing, but a battle against gender-based violence.

According to Ruth, 11 of the members met at a central location in Nairobi on November 12, and agreed to rally support from the other members to take part in the Monday protest.

They also posted a message on the page asking members to send money to help plan the demonstrations.

Although she declined to comment how much they were able to raise, Ruth said the response was good and the money was used to print flyers and placards and buy T-shrits.

“We did not expect to get attention or gain this kind of fame, we simply decided to stand together as women to assist each other,” she said.
The group was joined by other activists in the Monday protest to press government to protect women.

Ms Passaris, who was part of the protesters who marched to the Embassava terminus, says that the whole #MyDressMyChoice campaign was not only about miniskirts, tight trousers or low cut tops but trying to decide whether anyone has the right to stop a woman from wearing what she wants.

RAISE AWARENESS

“We needed to have that march and raise awareness and I’m proud that I did it. There have been two incidents elsewhere but it is not about the location; it is about making sure that this perceived notion that people can undress women does not turn into a pattern. It’s time to say no, say stop,” she said.

Ms Passaris, who was also active in condemning the incident on social media, strongly condemned the mob justice mentality that has been allowed to grow in Kenya. She believes it is the duty of every man to protect a woman.

After the march, Devolution Secretary Anne Waiguru announced last Thursday that her ministry would launch the National Policy for Prevention and Response to Gender-Based Violence.

She also strongly condemned the brutal assaults, saying the shameful acts of violence were unconstitutional.

Earlier, Deputy President William Ruto had termed the stripping of women as barbaric. “Those people stripping women and impregnating young girls are of the same class and legal action needs to be taken against them. We do not want to live in a primitive world where people don’t respect the rights of others especially the rights of women and children,” he said.

Atsango Chesoni, Executive Director at the Kenya National Human Rights Commission, said it was important for citizens to stand up for women as they did during the #MyDressMyChoice campaign.

Ms Priscilla Mudoga, one of the protestors, stressed that whatever an adult woman decided to wear on her own free will was her decision and should be respected.

“I’m saddened, disappointed and angry that such could happen to a woman in public. A country with laws and rights enshrined in the Constitution should not allow such a criminal act to happen to anyone, not just a woman,” she says.

Although many people were against what was seen as barbaric and an act of sick minds, sociologist Paul Mbatia of the Multi Media University, suggested that the context in which the behaviour occurred should be taken into account.

“There are certain situations that make people behave in a mob context where irrational behaviour is exhibited. What the youths did was to express their first-hand reaction and unfortunately it escalated,” said Mr Mbatia.

He said that it appeared the society was encroaching into a sensitive grey area, which had not yet been defined: to what extent should one exercise the freedom to wear what they wanted? How much, where and what to cover has been culturally defined in some cultures and institutions like some universities which regulate how its students dress.

 “This was a show of misguided behaviour from people who did not know how to put across the point they wanted to make. They did not know how to express themselves,” said the lecturer.

But in the middle of this debate, the profile of Kilimani Mums has grown from a small Facebook group to an influential voice. Will it follow the footsteps of other “mothers’ groups” globally that have affected policy and politics or is this a one-off?