Sensitivity is key to good parenting

In the school where I used to be the chaplain, one of the teachers told me a story about a student who graduated in the 1970s, when the A levels were still part of the system. The young man went home during one of the breaks and was explaining to his father — a man who had never finished primary school — about launching rockets into space. The student was excited about this because he was keen on becoming an engineer.

The father told his son to stop bothering him with fairy tales. The young man insisted and went on to state that the Americans had landed people on the moon. The father was so angry hearing his son speaking bold-face lies that he got a cane with every intention of beating him. The son ran away and never dared to mention the topic again.

There are many bible verses about parents raising their children, particularly in the Book of Proverbs. I like this one especially:  Proverbs 23:24 “The father of a virtuous man will rejoice indeed.” This verse, besides telling us about earthly experience, suggests how happy God our Father is when he sees his daughters and sons making an effort to live the Gospel way.

The Bible also reminds parents of something just as important—exemplified by the story about the student and American astronauts. Parents have to be humble before their children.

The same Book of Proverbs says: “The arrogant know-it-all stirs up anger but the wise listen to each other’s counsel.” Ever since Adam and Eve, children learn to do things—things both good and evil—that their parents never imagined.

Parents need to be especially sensitive to protecting their children from pornography, starting at a young age. You would not allow a drug dealer to peddle cocaine and heroin outside your door. The pornography available in your own house—if you’re connected to the Internet—will do just as much harm as hard drugs and it can be just as addictive. Parents cannot resort to “helicopter” mode either, constantly hovering over their children. But they don’t want to abandon their children completely into the arms of cyberworld.

Strike a balance by encouraging your children to discover good things. Ask them to share their discoveries with you. At the same time, teach them how to discipline themselves, because sooner or later, they will have to learn how to navigate on their own.

Going back to Proverbs, remember this nugget of divine wisdom: “Instruct a child in the way he should go, and when he grows old he will not leave it.”