Simple, little habits that make for great marriages

Despite all the bad press it gets these days, marriage is still a very good idea.

Happily married couples are generally healthier, wealthier and live longer than singles. They look after one another and help with each other’s chores. Getting married means being with someone who will truly let you be yourself. Who will encourage you. Who knows you so well you can exchange secret messages with just a glance. Who’s always there when you want to be intimate.

Or at least that’s how it should be. But all too often couples start taking each other for granted. The romance fades away, and no-one makes an effort any more.

Don’t go that way!

1. Never stop paying attention to your appearance. Take more exercise, and show your spouse that you care, by taking the time to look, feel and smell good.

2. Say “I love you”. Often. And mean it. Everyone appreciates being told how much they’re loved and cherished. Share your hopes, dreams and deepest secrets. Tell your partner how much you enjoy being married to them. It’s easy to get into the habit of constantly complaining about one another. Instead, try telling your partner what it is about them that pleases you. Their sense of humour, maybe? Their smile?

3. Make time to be alone together, especially if you’re a couple with young children. Organise your schedule and theirs  and lean on the grandparents  so you can have a little time to yourself. You need time for just the two of you, away from the kids, extended family and work. Regularly. Good marriages need at least one meaningful, uninterrupted, conversation a week to share your thoughts and ideas. Even the odd hour will make all the difference.

4. Talk about your history together. Is there a special spot where you used to hang out? A restaurant where you first realised you two were an item? How long has it been since you’ve been back to those places? Add new places to the ones you already have, and develop new ways to be romantic together. 

5. Like touching. Lots. Wives often complain that their husbands only touch them as part of sex. So don’t wait for bedtime. Make touching part of the way you communicate. Every day. Gentle, sexy touching deepens the attachment between you. Hold hands, kiss, and sit close. And when you hug, hold on for at least 20 seconds. It’ll make you a much happier couple.

6. Make a point of being sexy together. Let your fantasies run free. And don’t complain that your spouse disappoints you in the bedroom if you’ve never actually said what you want! So tell each other what you like and what you don’t. Be adventurous, and try anything... At least once.

Novelty really matters. So be imaginative, read the books, and drop broad hints that there’s going to be a “surprise” after the children are asleep. The anticipation will do wonders for both of you!