MWALIMU ANDREW: These are my resolutions for 2016, so help me God

At the beginning of last year, I made grand plans to ensure that 2015 was a great year for me. And indeed it was. Even if I never finished what I planned, at least I started.

Saturday January 2 2016

It is, however, embarrassing that I ( a whole

It is, however, embarrassing that I ( a whole me) have never been to Mombasa, of all the places. The two times my music class qualified, and the Nationals were in Mombasa, there was no budget so I missed out. ILLUSTRATION| JOHN NYAGAH 

By MWALIMU ANDREW
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At the beginning of last year, I made grand plans to ensure that 2015 was a great year for me. And indeed it was. Even if I never finished what I planned, at least I started. I went back to school, started constructing my house, reluctantly took Branton, was

confirmed as Deputy Headmaster, and kept Fiolina in college – even when it is increasingly becoming clear that the money I am paying at Mosoriot can better be used on something else!

Deep inside, something is telling me that 2016 is my year. It is the year that the Lord has made for me. But I know that faith without action is useless. That is why, following long and extensive consultations with Fiolina, the laugh of my life, I have solid plans for the year 2016. Here are some of them:

University education

Enemies of development who had branded my degree dream a Vison 2030 flagship project must have cursed when they heard that I went back to KU last month. And they celebrated when they heard that I had missed one CAT after Pius derailed me.

Well, I have news for them. Things are looking up. I managed to do a make-up CAT. And the University’s Headmaster, Prof Olive Mugenda, has been sent home for frustrating my graduation among other things. The next VC now knows what trouble they will get themselves into should they frustrate me.

Therefore, Statistics or no Statistics, Mugenda or no Mugenda, this year I will join fellow eccentric scholars and bright academicians at Kenyatta University’s Graduation Square and my name will be called out loud as we get powers to read even more!

State residence

 Last year, one of my resolutions was to build a house. I had planned for a modest but unique and stylish semi-permanent house. But, as you will recall, God blessed teachers with a massive salary increment in the course of the year.

Following this, I decided to do a proper house. Since I have political ambitions, such a grand house would serve as my state residence when I become an MCA and later on a Member of Parliament. You will also agree that a good house attracts votes.

But no sooner had I started the house than the government “Eurobonded” the increment we had been awarded. This brought my plans to a halt, and unless something drastic happens, the house may not be finished any time soon especially when you consider the many other projects that I have. I will, however, give the house attention by making little progress every month.

Therefore, salary increment or no salary increment, come December, I will have been done with the foundation. Real construction of the State Residence would continue in 2017. By then, Fiolina and I will be through with school, and I will have completed my current Sacco loan and would have space to take a loan and proceed with construction.

Trip to Mombasa

As you know, I am the most travelled person in Mwisho wa Lami. I know people will remind me that Pius has also travelled but I doubt he can call himself a true son of Mwisho wa Lami.

He is a Nairobian. I have been to Kisumu, Kilimambogo, Nyeri, Meru, Nairobi (several times yearly), Kisii, Machakos name them. I have visited these places for school activities: sports, music or drama.

It is, however, embarrassing that I ( a whole me) have never been to Mombasa, of all the places. The two times my music class qualified, and the Nationals were in Mombasa, there was no budget so I missed out.

This is the year. I will do everything to ensure that I go to Mombasa. I do not know where the Music or Drama national festivals will be held this year. I hope it will be in Mombasa and I will work hard so that I can reach the Nationals, and travel to Mombasa so that I can at least see the sea.

But I will also be saving so that I can make the trip. Therefore, drama festivals or no drama festivals, this is the year when I will go to Mombasa, together with Fiolina, the laugh of my enviable life. Mombasa Town, you better be ready for me!

Fiolina

Great and successful men put their wives in their plans. I am also putting the laugh of my life, Fiolina, in my plans. As you know, she will be completing her course at Mosoriot by July. I may not know how she is performing academically but I am praying

for a miracle from God that she complete the course on time and graduates. Once she is done, I will look for a school to teach as we wait for Teachers Suffering Centre (TSC) to enjoin her in teacher problems.

I am not so keen to have her fully employed by TSC. If she treats me the way she does when she has no money and fully depends on me, how will she treat me once she starts getting a salary? Her own salary?

More importantly, however, is that with her finishing school, we will now have a free hand to get Branton a brother or sister, or both at the same time. I know children are a gift from God. We can only work hard towards this. And that is all Fiolina and I will do this year once she is done with college. For obvious reasons I will not go into further details.

Family dress code

Some enemies of development have been spreading some bad rumours about how my family and I dress. Don’t get me wrong, no one can question how sharply I dress. On that score, I am miles ahead of many Nairobians. What the enemies of development have been saying is that Fiolina and Branton are not as well dressed.

Get it right, no one has said that they dress poorly. They just said that they do not dress as sharply as I do. I must admit that it is long since I bought Fiolina a dress. And that most of the clothes that Branton wears are those bought by his mother Catherine.

This year, I will factor them in dressing as well. I have already engaged our local tailor to “measure” some shirts and shorts for Branton. I also asked Fiolina to “measure” three dresses with her fundi. But when I heard about the price, I was shocked. They

were very expensive. But money or no money, expensive fundis or cheap fundis, this year, for every four Kaunda suits I will buy, Fiolina will get one dress. And for every two dresses that Fiolina will get, Branton will also be bought a shirt or pair of shorts!

NB: As long as I am paying, the colour will be blue as I am keen on creating a family identity of colour blue.

Land

A lot of people have been saying bad things about my brothers and I. They have been criticising us for just waiting to inherit land from my father Caleb. They may have a point, but where did my father get his land from? He inherited it from my grandfather who inherited it from our great grandfather.

That notwithstanding, this year I will look for some land. Now I may not be able to look for it and fully pay for it. But at least by the end of the year, I will have identified some place and start discussions with the owner. Given the way I have been relating with my father in recent years, you never know. The old man may just wake up one day and tell me to disappear.

Therefore, inheritance or no inheritance, this year I must identify a place I can go to should Mzee Caleb wake up one day to say that he no longer wants me as a neighbour!

For my plans to succeed, I need God. Therefore I will start going to church more regularly. Apostle Elkana and I have had a tumultuous year. This year I want to make amends with him. I will buy anointing oil from him so that he can bless the work of my hands.

Happy 2016!

 

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