MEN&WOMEN: Why a kiss is good for you

Kissing’s pretty much universal, and probably goes back to the dawn of time. Though there are big differences in the details. For example, some cultures sniff each other’s cheeks instead.

It’s always been a greeting, and many pre-literate cultures also kissed to create a contract. Which is where the saying “sealed with a kiss” comes from. And is the reason couples kiss during marriage ceremonies. It’s not just romantic. Originally it showed that the couple accepted the contract of marriage.

Kissing’s always been associated with love, and so it’s always a little ambiguous, and full of sexual possibilities. Which is why “the first kiss” is such an important moment in every romance. And it’s obviously part of the decision making. Because no matter how attracted you feel to someone, your interest can vanish after that first kiss. That’s because a kiss’s real purpose is to check out chemicals on the lips and skin that tell lovers whether their genes and immune system are compatible.

You’re completely unaware of your subconscious mind figuring all this out, of course. So you’ll just find your lover’s kisses irresistible if you’re a match. And if you get that awful “yuk!” feeling instead? Give up, because the chances are you’ll never be completely happy together. We also learn a few other things besides. Like the way a man kisses a woman helps her decide whether he understands the subtleties of social life, and has the confidence to be a good lover.

So kissing’s important in every relationship. And yet it often drops right off as time goes by. Like surveys show that 80 per cent of married couples no longer kiss each other goodnight, and 20 per cent can go a whole week without kissing at all. And while long-term couples often fret about whether they’re having enough sex, it’s rare to hear about them having deep and meaningful conversations about kissing.

Does that really matter? Yes it does. Because for example, kissing keeps you healthier. If you kiss your spouse goodbye every morning, you’ll take fewer days off due to illness, have fewer accidents on the way to work, earn more, and live approximately five years longer!

And kissing definitely helps keep couples together. Like how often spouses kiss tells you a lot about the quality of their relationship. And when a relationship’s breaking down, the kissing usually stops long before the sex.

So if you’ve got out of the habit, you should start kissing again as soon as you can! Every single day. Every greeting, every goodbye. And recreate your kissing habits from your first days together – like kissing a little on the sofa before you go to bed, and as you turn over to sleep.

It might all seem a bit artificial at first, but the more you kiss each other, the more you’ll want to. And your whole relationship will start to become more emotionally and physically intimate. And will last much longer.

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