MY WEEKEND: Why we’re all enablers of evil that happens in society

What you need to know:

  • When talking about the dead, especially during funerals, we feel compelled to eulogise them, whether they deserve it or not.
  • In our society, we just don’t talk ill of the dead, even when in reality, the dead person was a monster, a murderer and a vicious robber who terrorised even those closest to him.

There is a snapshot of an unusual obituary that has been doing rounds on social media.

Usually, the obituaries that appear on our newspapers and those that are printed on the booklets handed out during burials contain just general information about the deceased. Their name, date of birth and death, close relatives, and sometimes where they went to school and worked.

When talking about the dead, especially during funerals, we feel compelled to eulogise them, whether they deserve it or not. In our society, we just don’t talk ill of the dead, even when in reality, the dead person was a monster, a murderer and a vicious robber who terrorised even those closest to him.

I was, therefore, surprised when I came across this eulogy that appeared on what I assume was a booklet that had been handed out to mourners during this young man’s funeral.

After the usual, when he was born and where he had worked, the obituary boldly stated that he had been a criminal, a thief, and an evil-doer who died in the hands of a mob. After reading this, it occurred to me that such an obituary would not have seen the light of day had this man’s parents, or close relatives, not given their blessings.

It also occurred to me that for such a blunt, bold and sincere summary of one’s character to be made public, that young man must have been such a thorn in the flesh of those who knew him, it just would not have been possible to pretend that he had not been who and what he had been.

BLACK SHEEP

In most families, there is always that black sheep (more than one sheep for the unlucky ones), the one that leaves a trail of misery behind him (or her).

The one that gives his parents sleepless nights, the one that relatives whisper about during get-togethers, but would never dare say aloud what they really think about him – that he is evil, a social misfit that belongs behind bars, someone they would not shed a single tear for should he die today. He is family after all, and we do not smear the character of a blood relation whether this relation is the devil incarnate himself.

These individuals know that we would never raise a finger against them, that the last thing we would do is hand them over to police because we would not want to be branded traitor, the person that blew the whistle on family. And so they do their evil deeds, confident that their parents, siblings, extended family, and even neighbours, will keep their mouths shut, pretend to have seen no evil and heard no evil.

This is why we have rapists, murderers, robbers and thieves living among us, sometimes living under one roof with us. We know what they are, but because they are family, we pretend not to know.

We also know very well those who have a habit of beating up their spouses, mistreating and terrorising their children – some of these individuals are our children and siblings, but in the spirit of minding our own business, in the spirit of family, we turn the other way and do nothing. During family get-togethers, we hug these evil-doers and resolutely turn a blind eye to the pain in their spouses’ and children’s eyes.

The fact is that many of us are enablers of the crime we keep complaining about, the crime we keep accusing the police of being unable to contain. We are enablers, complicit even to these crimes because we keep quiet.

I bet there are several people reading this who know at least one criminal – by name, sight and deed, but they will take this information to the grave.

Imagine what we would achieve were we bold enough to root out all the evil-doers among us, make them know that they are not welcome in our homes and communities, that we will no longer ignore or deny their misdeeds, whether they are family or not, that if it takes reporting them to the police, or taking whatever other suitable deterrent action we deem fit to stop them, then we will do it.

Don’t you think the rate of crime would go down significantly? Don’t you think you and your family would sleep better at night?   

   

[email protected]; Twitter: @cnjerius. The writer is the Daily Nation features editor