Your eyes are the gateway to your heart, reveal them

I was having lunch at a certain restaurant in town some time last year. I am an incurable people watcher, I could sit on the same spot for hours watching people walk by.

As I waited for my meal, my eyes settled on a man on the opposite table. He seemed to be in his mid-30s, and I could tell that he was waiting for someone from the way he was nursing his glass of juice.

He was also very nervous, fiddling in his seat, repeatedly smoothing a tie that needed no smoothening, checking his watch, and clearing his throat from time to time. This told me that he was either meeting this person for the first time, or that he and this person were just getting to know each other. My first bet was that he was expecting a girl.

She finally came. Tall, made taller by the high heels she was wearing. A close-fitting knee-length dress and a long expensive-looking weave. And dark sunglasses that she did not take off throughout her date with Mr Nervous. I am not exaggerating. Throughout the 45 minutes or so that they sat there together, she kept her sunglasses on, so I never got a glimpse of her eyes. Neither did that unfortunate man, who was visibly unsettled by the encounter, but was not brave enough to ask his date to stop behaving like a prima donna and take off the “shades”, if they’re still called that.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

You’re in an enclosed space for heaven’s sake, with no hint of sunlight, you don’t need them, especially if you’re having a one on one conversation with someone!

For some reason, such things bother me – they probably shouldn’t, but they do, so that probably makes me a fussy person, but there you go. I get irritated when people pick their noses in public, I am offended when people chew with their mouths open, and I cannot stand it when people pull in the stuff in their noses instead of reaching for a handkerchief. I also give those who litter an evil eye. Yes, I know, I probably need to take a chill pill.

Anyway, you might not believe it but, at some point, I visualised myself getting up and calmly taking off those sunglasses for her, but that would have been insane, right? I therefore remained seated and kept my peace.

You should have seen that poor man trying to peer through those two impenetrable pits in vain, at a loss of where to look since there was no connection at all. If, indeed, the eyes are windows to the soul, that unfortunate man did not catch a glimpse of any soul in those 45 minutes.

Since I was watching, I also could not help eavesdropping on the conversation. I had been right, these two were just getting to know each other. Turned out they had met at a mutual friend’s house, and this was their first date. I watched the man go from nervous to embarrassed, and finally to irritable and impatient. Impatient to leave. They left together, but I had a feeling that chances for another date were slimmer than slim.

The eyes tell a lot, for instance, that man would have been able to tell whether the young woman opposite him found him attractive or not, whether she was bored, or whether she was enjoying the conversation.  

For most of us, when we meet someone for the first time, the first contact we make is with each other’s eyes, and when we want clarification, to find out whether we are on the same page, we look at each other’s eyes, ditto when we want to find out whether one is telling the truth or not.

This Sunday, allow someone to look into your soul.

_______________

Feedback: Why experience in life is considered the best teacher

Happy New Year Caroline. You have started the year on a high note! Last week’s was about the supernatural, this week it’s life lessons! That couple who went to visit and overstayed will surely have their day soon if your friend keeps her word. I have one policy though. Being a morning person (I wake up at 5am) if you visit me on a weekday and it gets to my bedtime,  which is anytime from 9.20pm, I just take a walk, my family and friends know that.   

Ruth

***** 

I don’t fault the couple that bought vodka for their friends who had just had a baby. Most probably, that is what they all used to take and enjoy before your friend’s pregnancy. At least they did not turn up empty handed.         

Wainaina

***** 

We not only learn from experience, we learn from the mistakes we make as well. That picture doing rounds of a man carrying a trolley in a supermarket was hilarious though. It says sometimes the blunders we make are purely from lack of paying attention and ignorance.         

Omondi

***** 

Many times we get embarrassed or embarrass other people, mainly because of pride in not asking what we don’t know. But most importantly we should learn from our mistakes.

Wesonga