Secret inauguration into my new home

A few weeks ago, after hard work on the house led by our village chief architect Nyayo and the three rascals who stay with me, my state of the house – a never seen before bungalow – was ready for occupation and I set a date when my family and I would be inaugurated into it.

But Tocla, who was not hired by Nyayo to help in the construction, lodged a petition with Fiolina the laugh of my enviable life, claiming that the house was not structurally sound. While I admitted that there were a few issues, I held that the overall structure of the house was solid, and that the small defects, like darkness in the sitting room or the risk of water getting into the house when it rained, were minute issues that could not make the whole building condemned.

“No house is perfect,” I argued in my submissions to Fiolina. “I have seen repair works being done even at State House. Please disregard Tocla’s arguments and let’s move into the house immediately.”

But Tocla had an advantage on his side. He happened to be the elder brother of Fiolina, something that meant that Fiolina was extremely biased. Not surprisingly, therefore, Fiolina ruled that we could not move into a house that was structurally unsound, until the defects were corrected.

This came after I had meticulously planned my inauguration including inviting guests and paying for food among other surprises. I considered overruling her; but being a law abiding citizen who loves peace and tranquility, I agreed to have some of the issues addressed, after which I would revisit the matter! Were I not peace loving, Fiolina angejua mimi ni nani!

I called back Nyayo, but instructed him to work with Tocla in addressing some of the issues Tocla had raised. The two started work two weeks ago. But soon after the working relationship between them crumbled. From what I gathered, it had to do with pay. Tocla believed that he was a fundi just like Nyayo who needed to be paid on equal rates as Nyayo while Nyayo considered Tocla his mtu wa mkono and gave him just enough to take one pick up at Hitler’s.

Inevitably, they disagreed and you can guess what Tocla did – again. He petitioned Fiolina that no major changes had been made, and that the house was still structurally unsound, ugly and dark. Yet Nyayo had addressed all issues to my satisfaction. I had been satisfied with the original work and, therefore, didn’t even look if at all changes had been actually implemented in the repeated works.

So when last Sunday I told Fiolina that we needed to be inaugurated into the new house on Jamhuri Day, she told me that this could not proceed as she had a few concerns with the house. “I am informed that not much changes were done and I still insist that we should have those addressed,” she said. I asked that we go visit the house but Fiolina claimed that she was too tired to walk – a claim every woman with a file download around the corner makes, even though she moves a lot in our compound.

“You can’t see how heavy I am?” she asked me every time I suggested that we go see the house. “Or you think I am just pretending? Have you ever carried a baby in your stomach? You think it is easy?” I would promise myself to revisit the matter the next day, but would still not be able to convince her. And days were going.

But last week, I was saved by the most unlikely of persons: The Cabinet Secretary for Education Fred Matiang’i, aka Magufuli. He revisited the matter in a way I could never have imagined. As he was launching the Form 1 school selection, he made some statements that changed everything for me.

“Secondary and primary schools sharing one compound will be placed under one headmaster and two deputies,” he had said. I had not been aware of that directive until that afternoon while at Hitler’s.
“Wewe utafutwa kazi,” Nyayo told me when I arrived. He reminded me that our school shared a compound with Mwisho wa Lami Mixed Day Secondary School.

“The secondary school head will become the overall headmaster while Bensouda will be the Deputy,” said Nyayo. “That means that you will be demoted to a regular teacher since Bensouda can’t be demoted.”

I told them that was not possible. “I will be the deputy of the secondary while Bensouda will be deputy of the primary sections,” I said, reminding them that I was more educated than Bensouda. We were with my father at Hitler’s, and he was just listening in silence, as he drank as much as he could knowing that I would pay. We have a silent agreement with him that whenever we meet at Hitler’s, I usually pick the bills. That is why I always try to avoid him.

Little did I know that my father was keenly following the discussion! He left me at Hitler’s and a few minutes later, I received a “Please call me” message from my wife. “Come urgently,” she said when I called her. I was very sure her time for file download had come, and as I walked home I called Nyayo to come with the motorcycle so that we could rush her to hospital.

But I arrived to find a different story. My father was in my house making orders. He had asked for supper and was even suggesting that Tocla’s children leave. I asked him why he was coming to interfere with things in my home.
“This is my house and I make decisions here,” I told him. “Please let me run my home the way I know best.”

“What do you mean this is your home?” he asked. “This is my home.” He went on: “Even Matiang’i said where two homes share a compound, there will be one head. We cannot have two heads in this home. I am the head and you a mere deputy who has to follow my instructions.” With the help of my mother, we managed to convince the old man to go to sleep.

“You see why we should move to our own home?” I asked Fiolina. She did not answer. That evening she called Tocla to come see her the next day. When Tocla arrived the next morning and to his shock, Fiolina dismissed his claims with costs!

“We need your help to carry things to our new home,” she told him. I also called Nyayo and we spent that day carrying stuff to our new home. On seeing us carry things, lots of people came to us saying we needed to move in a better way.

Rasto told me that my father should have led us to our new home, a cockerel should have been slaughtered and libations done before we carried even a single item. Anindo, Nyayo’s wife, said that we could not move to a new home when my wife is expectant. She said this as she helped us carry things – for pay! My father also said I could not move without his blessings. I told everyone that we were just moving things and would plan to move in an organised way.

That night, at 11 pm, as Mwisho wa Lami slept, we left Mzee’s home and moved into our new home, with a brand new, state of the art house! On arrival, I was inaugurated as the head of the home. Regardless of what people are saying, our migration, and my inauguration was proper, procedural, legal and, therefore, valid. My father can continue heading his home, but I will also head mine. Wenye wivu wajinyonge!

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