ASK HR: I sit next to a very annoying colleague. How do I handle her?
I love my job and like many of my colleagues at work, however, there is one I really dread to meet every morning, the lady who sits across me. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP
What you need to know:
- Speak out: Let your colleague know you are not equipped to solve her problems.
- Tell her, “Sorry I can’t help you”.
- Be positive: Make positive comments when she says nasty things about your colleagues. “That is not a fair comment,” or “On the contrary, I think she really looks lovely,” or “He is a great person, you should get to know him”.
Q.I love my job and like many of my colleagues at work, however, there is one I really dread to meet every morning, the lady who sits across me.
She is a bit older, married with two children and never stops talking about her family, always complaining about what her husband has failed to do, sometimes praising him for occasional consideration. She also makes negative comments about people who pass by our workstation, even our boss. She is really affecting my mood and her problems are weighing me down. What do I do?
The situation you describe affects many people at work, where annoying colleagues are easily dismissed as rude, aggressive, gossips or even conniving. They suck the joy, energy and passion out of your life and make you feel helpless; but only if you allow them. You hold the power to change the situation and here is how:
Speak out: Let your colleague know you are not equipped to solve her problems.
Tell her, “Sorry I can’t help you”.
Be positive: Make positive comments when she says nasty things about your colleagues. “That is not a fair comment,” or “On the contrary, I think she really looks lovely,” or “He is a great person, you should get to know him”.
Do not join the conversation: Do not seek more details by for instance saying, “Really, he did that? How could he?” or revisiting the conversation from previous day. By doing this, you are just giving her permission dump on you. In addition, do not share your experiences either, however relevant they may be, otherwise you become her “gossip buddy”, making you no different.
Control how you react: someone once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Do not allow her to get into that space where all you think about is her problems. You have a life to live, block her out of your mind, just like you block rude callers or people on Twitter.
Take a break: When she starts the negative talk, take a short break from your desk, or wear earphones and listen to uplifting music, or talk to other colleagues close by. Change the topic.
