I lack the confidence to express myself, please help me

I was not brought up by my parents, and I think I lack the confidence required to talk to others and express myself in interviews as well. How do I build my personality. PHOTO | FILE

What you need to know:

  • Try and identify situations that make you feel less confident and narrow down to what triggers this. Yes, now it may be difficult to talk confidently, but I am sure there are moments you express yourself very clearly, perhaps when with your friends or teachers.
  • In addition, look for training opportunities to improve your skills. There are so many programmes out there that can help you: how to communicate effectively, from building your self-confidence, overcoming your fears, emotional intelligence and many others. 

Q. I am in my third year at university studying Economics.

I was not brought up by my parents, and I think I lack the confidence required to talk to others and express myself in interviews as well.

How do I build my personality.

You have achieved alot, so do not give up on yourself. You seem to think your upbringing has a lot to do with this challenge you have. You have not shared much about how this has been, but in situations where we grow up around people who put us down, bullies at school, neighbourhood, family and friends - this can easily affect our confidence. Low self–esteem is something you can overcome, but you need to get a few things into perspective.

Try and identify situations that make you feel less confident and narrow down to what triggers this. Yes, now it may be difficult to talk confidently, but I am sure there are moments you express yourself very clearly, perhaps when with your friends or teachers. Explore how you can transfer those skills to other situations. Know your strengths and use them more to overshadow your weaknesses. I am yet to meet someone who has no areas in need of improvement, so you are not alone.

One way to overcome difficult situations is by not avoiding them, rather, by facing them head on to learn and improve. If you repeat the same things that you are only good at, you will not learn new skills.

Be careful whom you hang out with. You need friends who encourage you and bring out the best in you. Remember, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another,” therefore choose your friends wisely. In addition, look for training opportunities to improve your skills. There are so many programmes out there that can help you: how to communicate effectively, from building your self-confidence, overcoming your fears, emotional intelligence and many others. 

You have not indicated your gender, which is immaterial anyway, but if you are a young man, you should look out for Man Enough, (Transform Nations) a short programme that helps men be just men, but in a real empowering way. I truly think this can help you. Google it.