I need to search for a job in peace, but my boyfriend won’t let me

Q. I am a lab technician and have been job hunting since I graduated two years ago.

The futile search is not only stressing me, but is straining my relationship too. Lately, my boyfriend’s conversation starter is, “Any good news?”

When I turned down a job offer a few weeks ago, he was so angry with me, he stood me up on a date. I am doing my best, but he is becoming

my job search impediment. What can I do to get him off my back? To stop him from breathing down my neck all the time?

I am curious to know why you turned down a job offer yet you have been searching for two years.

Could it be that you are looking to work for a specific employer or that you have a fixed mind on the salary you would like to earn?

Most people started at a low level, and took jobs they were not enthusiastic about and accepted a salary way beyond their expectations.

With time, they progressively moved to employers of their choice once they gained experience, a factor that enabled them negotiate competitive remuneration.

My advice is that you refocus your job search by getting attachment to gain experience.

Most health facilities will be willing to engage you, especially if they are not incurring any cost.

You will then be available for locum opportunities to relieve the more experienced technicians when they are away on leave.

To your relationship, your boyfriend could be genuinely concerned and eager for you to get employment, but because of your anxiety, you misconstrue his concern for nagging. That said, you need to determine whether his is concern, or if his reaction is because you have become a burden to him.

Do you, for instance, rely on him for financial assistance? If you do, maybe you should look for an alternative source since this could be the reason why it seems like an emergency for him that you get a job, which will relieve him off this responsibility.

Since this situation is bothering you, have a candid discussion with him and let him know that it is already stressing to search for a job, and that what you need is his support and understanding to be able to focus.

If he does not change, you may have to make a choice between focusing on your current priority or dwelling on the negative emotions your boyfriend is eliciting in you every time he inquires on the progress you have made.

Your relationship should not depend on your ability to get a job; if you got a job and lost it, will it be a bone of contention in your relationship?