How to get along with a difficult boss

Lydia Muthoni, an accountant, was happy when she got a job with a construction company just a few weeks after graduating from college. Unfortunately, she did not last three months on the job. Reason: “My boss was difficult to deal with,” she explains.

If asked, some of you would probably say that you have a ‘difficult’ boss. Unfortunately, being unable to get along with your boss can be counterproductive on your career even when you are good at your job. It is therefore prudent to find a way to get along with your boss. How do you go about it though?

Identify the disconnect

It’s impossible to fix what you haven’t figured out. Before you make a conclusion that you have a difficult boss, find out where the problem lies. It could be something workable, for instance, a difference in management or work styles. Also, it is important to determine what triggers your boss’s meltdowns and know how to avoid getting caught up in them. For instance, if he likes her work well organised, then meet his expectations.

Could you be the problem?

There are many difficult employers out there, but so are employees. Reviewing your past relationships with other bosses will help you determine if you are indeed the problem. If it’s your first job, what’s your reaction when your boss gives you instructions? Do you feel resentful or act all knowing? How does your boss relate with your colleagues? If he seems to get along with them, it could be a sign that you need to work on yourself.

Stay one step ahead

If your boss is difficult to get along with, it is important to fulfil you work responsibilities on time and to the best of your ability. There is nothing that erodes trust in the workplace than having to be reminded to do your job.

Set boundaries

If your boss is a micro-manager or micro-detailer, it is important that you set work-life boundaries. You don’t want him associating your work performance with your personal life. Other ways to create a boundary is by respecting his work priorities and giving him regular updates regarding your work.

Understand your boss

Being a decision-maker does not necessarily mean that someone is perfect. Your employer can make mistakes as well. Instead of getting angry and assuming that whatever happened to you was intentional, try to understand their work style or how they handle issues. Even better, you can talk out the issue with them — you never know, your assumptions might be wrong.

The little things matter...

There are quite a number of people whose difficult bosses turn out to be their best mentors. To improve your work relationship with your boss, change the perception you have of him and look at him in new light, like you would a colleague. You could start by saying hello when you report to work in the morning.

Break the negative cycle

The thoughts you entertain about your boss can help to improve or derail your relationship with them. The more you think of your boss as evil or mean, the more it is likely to affect how you interact with them. No one is all bad, so make an effort to identify his positive traits and focus on those instead.

Don’t let their Behaviour affect how you react

As you work on yourself and on improving the various areas your boss criticises you about, it is important to bear in mind that sometimes, it’s not about you. If your boss complains about you not meeting particular targets, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are not aggressive enough or that you are lazy, so don’t be hard on yourself. Different bosses have different expectations, and it could be that your boss has set the bar too high. However, ensure that you discuss the challenges you are facing with him or other colleagues to find out how you can improve.

Be respectful

You may not like your employer’s attitude but, it is important to respect the position he holds. If he is unkind or abusive towards you, instead of badmouthing him, or worse, retaliating, seek more constructive ways to resolve the matter, such as respectfully pointing out his insensitive behaviour. If he does not apologise, you could involve your HR manager.

Leave

In Lydia’s case, her boss would hurl insults at her at the slightest mistake. Before she decided to resign, she tried to engage her boss in an effort to let him see that he was being disrespectful but it only gets worse. If you are not able to change the situation and help is not forthcoming, it is best that you leave, rather than work in an environment that is not conducive. Bear in mind that one of the causes of depression among young people is stress emanating from their jobs.