Q. My friend was fired three months ago. Where I work, there is an opening for a receptionist position, and my boss has asked me to recommend someone.
I would like to forward my friend’s contacts, but she does not take work seriously.
She can also be such a snob and moody. If she gets to know that we have an opening that I didn’t tell her about, it may end our friendship. What do I do?
I have heard people say you are the average of the five people you spend your time with. You need to determine what kind of friends you really want to associate with.
I say this appreciating that there are many qualities we look for in our very close associates. There are factors that draw people together, but there should be a limit to what you can take.
Free advice; steer away from any friendship that is likely to bring you down. Strive to be around people who lift you up, challenge you, and have life and career goals and commitment towards achieving them.
That said, your friend needs your help, obviously at the risk of losing the friendship altogether, or emerging stronger with deeper bonds.
Many people I know for sure value friends who tell the truths that other people would not dare tell.
Go sit your friend down, tell her she can’t keep a good job unless she does some soul-searching and fix the problem. At the same time tell her of this opportunity and be very open about why you are hesitant to recommend her. Mention that you do not want to be associated with failure, and relate this to her poor work ethic.
Make it clear that you are happy to recommend her, but it will not be business as usual, she has to work hard to change her attitude if she is to keep the job and your friendship.
Friends speak honestly to each other, build each other, support each other and have a desire to succeed and grow together.
When a friend is jobless, he or she becomes a burden to you because you have to help them whether you want to or not because that is what friends do.
It is in your best interest therefore to set your friend on a successful career path, otherwise she will always be a burden to you.
Khalil Gibran, the famous Lebanese writer and poet once said, “Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity”.
If you cannot do this for her, then she is not as close a friend as you think, so do not lose sleep over the matter.