A necessary conversation

Liz and Ciku have a quiet sit-down; are things about to change between them? ILLUSTRATION| JOSEPH NGARI

What you need to know:

  • I observe her as she opens her mouth a few times, kind of like a fish. Gradually, a look of resignation crosses her face; finally, her story is about to come out.
  • “Look, I don’t want any more trouble. Chris said I was on my last warning and if I continue I will lose my job.”
  • She pauses and looks up, looks me directly in the eye.

It’s time for me to set up an appointment with Ciku, and so I decide to put on my grown up act and walk on over to her desk, vowing to keep things under control.

“Ciku,” I say to her, “I need to fix an appointment with Chris for next week. He says his schedule is really busy right now so I can’t just walk in.”

Ciku keeps tapping at her computer keyboard with increasing fervour. “Yes, he’s booked through with meetings.” Her face is starting to look distinctly red and her eyes stay fixed on the screen.

“What’s the earliest I can get a few minutes with him?”

“It’ll have to be Tuesday – if that’s ok.” She tacks in the last half of that sentence pretty quickly, as if she is trying to reassure me that she’s not trying to put me off.

“Ok… um, do you perhaps want to check his diary to see if I can get in earlier? It’ll only be about 10 minutes, max.”

“Oh! Of course!” A bead of sweat escapes her brow. I am not sure if it’s early menopause or the stress of talking to someone she doesn’t want to talk to because it’s pretty cool in the room and she’s sitting literally under an air conditioning unit. She looks away from her computer screen and opens a large book next to her. She peruses one page then licks her finger and turns it. After a few seconds of running her finger down it, she folds it up, puts it back where it was and fixes her eyes back on her screen, her fingers resuming their frantic tapping. “Yes, Tuesday. 8am?”

I shake my head; we can’t live like this. “Ciku-,”

“I swear I’m not lying. It’s true, he’s only available at that time.”

“Yea, I don’t doubt that,” I tell her, beckoning with my head towards my office. “Look, there’s things we probably need to say to each other. How about we do that in the privacy of my office?”

I look around the room; everyone close to us is sending me those vibes that indicate that although their eyes and fingers are busy about their jobs, they are all eavesdropping, waiting for a gossip-worth exchange between me and her.

Ciku looks up at me for the first time since we started speaking; I think I see a little relief in her eyes, but also fear – which I understand. She probably thinks I am about to take her into my office and give her a tongue-lashing. “It’s fine. I think we should be able to get along, don’t you?”

She nods, sighs in resignation, pushes her chair back and rises to follow me into my office. I open the door for her and indicate for her to sit down while I shut the door behind us. Then I take my place behind my desk where I feel infinitely more powerful and in control of the situation.

“You seem pretty freaked out today. You always have such an air of bravado. What did Chris say to put the fear of God in you like this?” I ask her. The words sound harsh but I am trying to put them as gently as possible.

I observe her as she opens her mouth a few times, kind of like a fish. Gradually, a look of resignation crosses her face; finally, her story is about to come out. “Look, I don’t want any more trouble. Chris said I was on my last warning and if I continue I will lose my job.” She pauses and looks up, looks me directly in the eye. “I’m a single mother, Liz. My child has no one but me. If I lose this job right now, I-,” her voice catches and she stops and looks back down in her lap.

I lean forward towards her. “Look, I don’t want any more fighting. It makes work very difficult. And I certainly don’t want you to lose your job. But do you understand that it’s your attitude that will cause problems for you, and not me?” She doesn’t look up at me. “Can we just agree to be civil with each other, even if we can’t be friends?”

Ciku looks up at me, and a look I am very familiar with comes across her face; oh dear. I think we are about to have another one of our legendary fights.