LIZZIE'S: Bored out of her mind

“So what do you do for a living?” Gabriel asks. We’ve rustled through all the cabinets and drawers in Jo’s living room and we have finally located a wine opener. Gabriel has popped open the bottle of red I brought and poured me a glass while he sips on the whiskey I found him and Johann enjoying.

“I’m in marketing. And you?”

He nods. “I’m an auditor.” Lawd. Sounds terrifyingly boring.

“Oh, ok,” I say. I take a sip from my glass. Then I stare into the wine swirling around in my glass. I wonder if it’s true what they say about liquids only swirling in one direction if no matter whether you shake the glass clockwise or anti-clockwise. ‘I should try it and see if it’s true,’ I think to myself as I shake my glass in circular motions.

“So, um, who do you market for?” Gabriel interrupts my train of thought.

I can feel my face take on a pained expression. “Look, I don’t really want to talk about work – I mean, it’s Saturday night, we’re at dinner, we should be enjoying ourselves, not thinking about the office and such, you know?”

“Ah, I get you,” he nods.

We sit there on the couch for a few more awkward seconds. I guess auditors don’t really know how to talk about anything but work. It strikes me that I have had enough of this awkwardness for one night so perhaps I should change things. “Let me go find out if Jo needs help in the kitchen,” I say, standing up quickly and walk-jogging in Jo’s direction.

I find her playfully slapping Johann’s hands off as he tries to get himself a kiss while she’s decorating four dessert bowls. “Well then. You two are certainly loved up. Are you trying to make a brother or sister for Little Fatma?”

They both startle and turn towards me, Jo, blushing, and Johann looking pleased as punch. “What’s wrong with me demanding that my woman gives me a kiss in return for all the good things I give her?” he chuckles.

“What good things are these?!” Jo playfully slaps his arm. Then she turns to me. “Why aren’t you out there talking to Gabriel? Is everything alright?” I guess she can tell that it’s not from the way my face falls. “Ok baby, it’s time for you to get out of my kitchen and let me spend some time with Liz. Go keep your friend busy. We’ll be right out.”

We both watch as Johann twirls his way out of the kitchen in time to the jazz music that’s playing in the background. Then Jo hands me a pair of salad tongs and some vinaigrette and directs me towards a bowl of lettuce and tomatoes. I pour the sauce over the veggies and start tossing while she finishes up with her desserts. “So what’s wrong with him?” she asks.

“Well, he’s a bit… dull,” I say, searching and failing to find a kinder word. “Talking with him is possibly the most excruciating thing I have ever done.”

“That’s odd,” Jo says, walking over to the oven and flipping it open. The most delicious garlic and rosemary aromas waft out, and Jo pulls out a pan containing a nicely browned hunk of meat which she puts on the counter to rest. “Gabriel is usually the life of the party. Perhaps he’s just nervous.”

“Or maybe we’re just not a good match,” I point out.

“Liz, you know who isn’t a good match for you?” Jo picks up a potato masher and proceeds to pound the heck out of mass of potatoes sitting on the cooker. “All those men that you’ve been dating recently – those flamboyant, good looking players and such who just use you and dump you. Maybe it’s time to try something different.”

“Yea, I know, but this is way different. Over-my-head different.”

Jo puts her masher down and turns to me. “You know when I met Johann, he was absolutely the last man I imagined myself with. I had never dated a white guy. I wasn’t attracted to him. I thought he was boring too,” she laughs. “But look at us now.” I look at her sideways. “What I am saying is, sometimes what you need isn’t what you want.”

“Right,” I nod. “So I should want to be bored out of my skull?”

“I’m just saying give it a shot!” she exclaims. “Go on a couple of dates, see how it works out. If it doesn’t at least you’ll have made a good friend, yes? Now let’s get this food out onto the dining table and go on and have ourselves a fabulous night.”