FEEDBACK: Coming out to family

Coming out to family

Initially, I read Rachel Wambui’s feature on gays in disbelief, but in the end, I realised that homosexuality is here to stay. Homosexuals are not drug addicts who can be rehabilitated out of their “problem”.

They are sober men and women in our society and from what they said in the feature, they are not to blame for their sexual orientation; they are just victims of an unknown hand.

There seems to be more to homosexuality than meets the eye. However, the disturbing question is whether we should accept homosexuals and stop sidelining them from mainstream society.

My answer is both yes and no. Yes because God loves everybody including homosexuals, so who are we mere mortals to hate them?

On the other hand, the Bible clearly states that the unrighteous, including men who practice homosexuality, will not inherit the kingdom of God. That said, we must acknowledge that no sin is greater than the other, so homosexuality is no worse than lying, for instance.

Therefore we should leave judgment to God, but say no to the sin of homosexuality, without shunning people who practise it. Let us welcome them into mainstream society and in the process they will come to learn why homosexuality is ungodly.  Andrew Kiriago, via email

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I resonated with the men and women who talked about coming out. There are repercussions when you come out. In my case, when I came out, I lost my job and it has been difficult getting another job just because I am openly gay. Does being a lesbian make me incompetent? Why can’t people see beyond my sexual orientation and realise that I am as much of a human being as any heterosexual person? My relationship with my family has also suffered ever since I came out; they say that I am demon-possessed. Anyway, despite the challenges of being openly gay in Kenya, I am happy that I came out. A W, via email

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I read Rachel’s story with a lot of apprehension. Let’s be honest, with African culture and religion remaining rigid, homosexuality will not gain universal acceptance in Kenya any time soon. Personally, I shared my first kiss as a university student with a fellow woman. It felt good, but later I was filled with fear that I might never be attracted to men again, as is the norm. I wish we would be all open-minded and accept everyone in spite of their sexual orientation, but then again, this is Africa. Marie, via email

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Homosexuality is considered deviant behaviour and homosexuals are stigmatised. The church has declared that it is unacceptable. It is also considered un-African. While Western countries have warmed up to homosexuality by upholding the rights of homosexuals and even legalising gay marriage or at least giving official recognition to gay unions, we are still a long way off, and our stance on homosexuality may never change. Alnashir D Walji, Nairobi

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I agree with Wayua Muli’s sentiments on homosexuality as expressed in the Editor’s Note: As long as the principle of no harm is observed i.e. no children or coercion involved, what people do in their bedrooms is no one else’s business. As for men of the cloth, the heaps of dirt they have been sweeping under the carpet for so long, needs, at the very least, an explanation and an apology. Raju, via email

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Homosexuality is a modern phenomenon, common and popular with the younger generation. Homosexuals must understand that our religious and cultural beliefs lead us to shun homosexuality because it is ungodly. It will take eternity and a lot of persuasion before we can accept homosexuality. Lydia Nyambura, via email

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Why do homosexuals feel the need to trumpet what they do behind closed doors to unconcerned parties? Have you ever seen straight people announcing their sexual orientations? Never! So let everyone keep their bedroom affairs to themselves. There is a reason why we have doors; let what is behind the door, remain behind the door. Jafar Mahmud, via email

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I appreciate that we live in a liberal society, but the fact that homosexuals find it difficult to accept themselves points to a problem. We all have a conscience put in us by God and whenever we act against it, we are filled with feelings of guilt. Stephen Kimathi, via email

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Unfortunately a lot of the young men who have “turned gay” are lazy and see homosexuality as a means of livelihood through prostitution. Matthew Mwangi, via email

***Try something new

Jackson Biko’s article on trying new things refers. Biko need not be sceptical about yoga. The physical, mental and spiritual benefits of yoga are immense. During yoga, you’ll learn how to breathe: how to inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide the proper way. You’ll also build you physical endurance and tolerance and learn how to rule the mind. You will also learn general discipline. I used to go for yoga sessions for more than a year until the training schedule got into conflict with my studies at the university. One of our yoga trainers was an overweight woman, but the moves she pulled off, were beyond the ability of those of us who weighed less. Barefoot, we all ‘’earthed’’ our bodies. Our joints got stretched, bent and twisted. We curved our bodies as directed by the instructor as she padded around as if inspecting a military parade. After the session we would head out to a vegetarian restaurant for free lunch. I miss yoga. I miss stretching my physical and my psychological limits and reconnecting with my ‘’spiritual’’ side. Dennis Chande, Nairobi

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Not to discount benefits of the fads going around, but we live in a capitalistic society where everyone is out to make a profit out of anything and everything. Most of these fads create a buzz and then quickly fizzle out and give way to the “next big thing”. That said, I’m all for trying new things just as Biko advised. A visit to Karura Forest in Nairobi on a Saturday morning should give you a glimpse of some of these ‘weird’ activities. I once tried meditation but all my chi wanted was yoghurt, so I quit soon after I began. All the same, Biko, listen to your chi. It knows best. Njuguna K, Nairobi