Celebration time!

I pick up my phone absently and have no clue who I am talking to until I hear these words: “I’ve been fired after your little stunt, you b*#*^.  I hope you’re happy now.” It’s Bertha, and clearly she is livid.

“Wha…” I mumble. I am truly lost for words.

“Oh, I know all about your little stunt, calling up that blogger and sending him that phone call.”

“Bertha, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say blithely. I then have to endure a few seconds of the worst epithets being hurled my way before Bertha takes a pause to breathe in, at which point I jump in. “If you want to you can check my phone records. You will see that there is absolutely no contact between myself and that blogger. However, what I do have – up on the website for the whole world to see – is a bunch of fabricated lies that have cause me and my professional reputation much emotional injury. In fact, you will just have to speak to my lawyers now,” I say.

Another ear-searing round of epithets attacks my ear drums so hard I have to hold the phone away from me to cope. When she’s done, I add: “Careful what you say, who knows who might be recording this?” and then I giggle hysterically as she disconnects her call.

The moment she is done I call Mariam. “We’re free! We’re free!” I yelp, standing up in my little office and doing a happy little jig. I can see Ciku and her friend from accounts, as well as a few other people, looking my way. But I don’t care. I am so happy!

“What?” Mariam asks. She sounds a little confused. I explain the entire scenario to her, including Bertha now being jobless. When I am done I could swear I can hear Mariam hopping about in happiness, just as I am doing on this end.

“We need a drink to celebrate!” she whoops. “Come over to my house right now!!”

“But I have to work…” I start.

“You don’t have a boss any more, you can run away without anyone asking you! Come!”

NO MOREDRAMA

I laugh and shrug. She’s right. I mean, it’s not like I am actually getting anything done here today. I might as well clear my mind with a great bottle of wine and a foolish hangover and come to work tomorrow refreshed and ready to start a new chapter. But just to be sure, I decide to leave my jacket hanging over my chair and a notebook open on my desk, just to make it look like I have stepped out and will be right back.

As I am packing up my handbag, I notice Louise waddling over as fast as she can… which is about the speed of a slow tortoise. I sit down and wait for her to finally make her way over to me. “Is it true what I just heard?” she asks me, her eyes popping.

“Depends on what you heard,” I smile cheekily.

“Is she gone?” she whispers dramatically, her thumb nudging over her shoulder in the direction of Bertha’s office. I nod as my smile expands into a huge grin. “Oh, wow, that was a shock,” she says, rubbing her back. “One day I should tell you all the things she made me do. Nkt,” and she shakes her head.

“Don’t worry, it’s all over now,” I say. “Look, I have to rush out, but I’ll be back and then we can go to lunch and talk about all this, yes?” I say. She nods and waddles back to her desk as I rush out.

A few minutes later, Mariam, Jo and I are gathered in Mariam’s living room, waiting for Fatma to escape work and come join us. Mariam pops open a bottle of wine and pours us each a glass as I look around and remember: This is where all the drama started a few weeks ago, when Mariam and I burnt Philip’s clothes. It’s time to drink all the bad memories away! We are just getting round to toasting our success when my phone rings. It’s Jason.

“I heard the good news,” he says drily. “Congratulations.”

“Yes!” I whelp. “We’re celebrating!”

“Who’s ‘we’?” he laughs.

“Me and my friends! You should come!”

He laughs some more. “No, I can’t leave work right now, but allow me to buy you dinner later on tonight?” he says in that tone of voice that I remember so well. A slight tingle runs down my spine. And then I remember how that tone of voice caused me umpteen problems way back when we were dealing with each other.

“You know, I think it’s going to be a long evening with my girls today. Perhaps another time?” He chuckles.

“Ok Liz,” whatever you say, he says. And at that moment, there is a knock on Mariam’s front door.