Love brewed at the office

There’s no place like work to meet the partner of your dreams, after all, people spend an average of eight hours working in close contact with their colleagues, creating the perfect setting for love to germinate. While many companies have a policy on what they call fraternising in the workplace, which they see as something that might affect the morale of the team and lead to gossip, hurt feelings or unfair advantage, they are alive to the fact that they can’t stop their employees from having romantic relationships. However, most companies frown upon public displays of affection and disclosure of any romantic relationships in their ranks. Some go as far as citing the sexual harassment clause to discourage such relationships. However, that does nothing to stop the tide of love in the office, though if the findings of the annual American Vault Careers Office Romance Survey, 2016 are anything to go by, only less than 10 per cent of married people  met their spouse at the office. There are no statistics for office romance in Kenya, but Samson Mbugua and Leanne Peris, and Samuel Gichuri and Susan Amukotso, are two happily- married couples, who met at the office. They talk about how they balance being lovers and c

citing the sexual harassment clause to discourage such relationships. However, that does nothing to stop the tide of love in the office, though if the findings of the annual American Vault Careers Office Romance Survey, 2016 are anything to go by, only less than 10 per cent of married people met their spouse at the office. There are no statistics for office romance in Kenya, but Samson Mbugua and Leanne Peris, and Samuel Gichuri and Susan Amukotso, are two happil- married couples, who met at the office. They talk about how they balance being lovers and co-workers.

Samson Mbugua, 29, and Leanne Peris, 26, are directors at Afrobiashara, and Dîner En Blanc Kenya

Samson and Leanne met at a company in Thika in 2013. Samson worked as the company’s marketer while Leanne was the receptionist. They worked on the launch of the company, which Leanne left five months later. From that work chemistry, they decided to work on Afrobiashara – a management consultancy for small and medium-sized enterprises – alongside other projects, before eventually landing the Dîner En Blanc Kenya franchise in 2014.

By the time they were hosting the first Dîner En Blanc event for foodies, in December 2015, they were already engaged. Come January, 2016, they were getting married. This took a lot of their business’ partners by surprise since they knew nothing of the romance that was brewing right under their noses.

“Once, we were very mad at each other, and showed up to an event planning meeting not having spoken to each other in two days. We had to conduct that meeting without letting anyone know what was going on between us. Then after the meeting we resumed ‘beef mode’; it was awkward,” Samson says with a laugh.

Now, they find that running a business together actually helps them when they are having issues on a personal level.

“We’ve travelled together and spent two hours talking at meetings, so by the time we get back home we’re not mad anymore. He does that since it takes a long time to bring me from that place of anger,” says Leanne.

It has also helped them know what the other is thinking and also who works best at what. At work, the two address each other informally as Lee and Sam, while each becomes ‘Babe’ back at the house. They only become fully formal when in front of people they are transacting serious business with. A lot of the business partners know they are married, but where it may not be taken positively they prefer not to express it out rightly.

“They may feel we won’t be objective, but on the contrary, we are each other’s harshest critics  and we place the interests of the company first,” says Sam.

But they have “failed miserably” to keep work away from home since this is also their life. Even dates end up being overrun by conversations about how to improve their business. So they made a conscious decision to have hourly walks every day where all talk of work is excluded, just to catch up on how the other is doing. Sadly, for Leanne, that still involves whatever aspect of the business one is handling at the moment.

“We’re both passionate about business and it brings us together. We’re very lucky as a couple to experience this kind of lifestyle – enjoying what we’re doing and enjoying doing it together – unlike couples who don’t work together and have to find something in common to share after work,” says Samson.

Leanne deals with most of the highflying male business partners, while Samson is best with customer care and the female partners. This is not a problem for either of them. It saves them time, and the business grows more from utilising their strengths rather than if they had to handle issues they were not good at because of jealousy. Besides, Samson says he would feel odd if sometimes men didn’t look his wife’s way, saying her looks are part of what attracted him to her.

Leanne, on the other hand, gets riled up when she feels people are taking advantage of Samson’s empathy and bashfulness. She says she’d tell him if she felt someone they were working with was up to no good.  Knowing their differences and strengths, they trust each other to make the right decisions for their business.  Trust also comes into play when handling financial matters and they help each other keep track of the finances and expenditure.

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Samuel Gichuri Karomo, 36, and Susan Amukotso Gichuri, 35

In 2008, fresh from university with a degree in mathematics, Samuel joined a British-curriculum school in Runda where Susan worked as an English and Swahili teacher. They worked together in an after-school math and reading programme.

“Susan held my hand, showing me what to do and how to do it. We spent long periods of time at work together and one thing led to another,” says Samuel.

While this was going on, some of Susan’s female colleague tried to dissuade her from getting into a relationship with a co-worker.

To quell rumours, the couple announced their engagement in August, 2008. Samuel and Susan informed the school principal, who is Susan’s cousin of their intentions.

“I didn’t want her to hear it from the grapevine and fortunately for us, our boss did not object,” says Samuel.

Samuel and Susan went on to get married and still work together at the same school.

“Working together has really strengthened our marriage. We value and respect each other, and the work each does,” says Susan, adding that because they trust each other, the issue of jealousy about how the other partner relates with other colleagues of the opposite sex has never come up, and it often takes time for new colleagues and students to learn that Susan and Samuel are husband and wife, since it is never apparent in the way they interact with each other.

Once they get to the school’s parking lot, they assume their roles as colleagues. Even their three-year-old daughter who goes to the same school, refers to them by their work titles.

“People have different opinions about couples in the same workplace so immediately we got married, we made it our policy: you are Mrs Gichuri and I am Mr Karomo,” says Samuel.

They have also opened themselves up to reprimand each other if they feel one of them is not performing his/her duties well. Samuel explains: “I remember a time when Susan felt that I wasn’t performing as expected at work. She talked to me about it and left it at that and when it didn’t work, she took it up with the principal. When I was called to the principal’s office, I was grilled and I explained what was happening and that was that. We didn’t take it home and when we do fight at home, it is never about work.”

Being a couple, however, means they have to correct each other with a touch of diplomacy to keep things at work and at home harmonious.

“At work we are just colleagues, the lovey-dovey is for the home,” says Susan, adding that they resume being husband and wife at 6:30pm after work.

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When office romance doesn’t work

Kevin and Karen (who requested not to use their real names) had been working together in directly linked departments of a financial institution for a few months before they went for their company’s team-building event. They started dating soon after that and it was obvious to their colleagues given the time they spent at each other’s workstations. However, questions started arising about how they both acted with other members of staff from the opposite sex.

“She would ask why I acted and spoke in a certain manner with a female colleague or friend. I thought she was just being insecure, but I also noticed she was getting lifts from work to her place from a certain senior member of staff,” says Kelvin.

The mistrust led to a breakup after only three months. After the breakup, Karen confirmed she had had an affair with the senior member of staff while she was dating Kelvin. The period after the breakup was awkward as they still had to work together amid the gossip in the office, but luckily Kelvin later got a promotion that moved him to another department where he didn’t have to work with his ex. Now, they only trade greetings in passing if they happen to meet. Kevin now says that he’d never date a colleague.

“I’d rather not be in the same workspace as my girlfriend where we watch each other with hawk eyes,” he says.