Loving your colleague

We spend a lot of time at work, so chances of developing love interest in a colleague are very high. In fact, you may very well be in a secret relationship at work or considering one.

According to Dr Chris Hart, a psychologist based in Nairobi, falling for a workmate is actually a normal occurrence in the modern career life. “The more you’re around someone, the more you tend to trust them.

They feel familiar – and safe and easier to chat with. And because companies generally choose employees who fit into the corporate culture, people at work tend to have similar interests, attitude, values, education and income – and so they make ideal dates!” he says.

Nevertheless, you are likely to be walking a tightrope trying to drive your new relationship ahead successfully. How do you achieve this? Well, here’s a guide to having romantic relationships at work.

Know the risks

Bear in mind that office relationships are extremely fragile and come loaded with huge consequences.

They not only affect the professional performance of the two parties involved but of colleagues as well.

Before you engage yourself with a co-worker, take care to evaluate possible fallouts that may arise from your relationship.

According to relationships coach and author Dr Sherrie McGregor, one of the key questions you should ask is whether love and companionship are more important than the possibility of damaging your career, stability and consistency at work, and the relationship with co-workers.

Understand your company’s policies

Does your company prohibit romantic involvement with colleagues? This should be among the first questions you answer. Beware that there are some firms that prohibit dating among colleagues to stem lower productivity, favouritism, possibilities of sexual harassment and future retaliation lawsuits. Understanding company policy should be a top priority if you’re new in an organisation.

To tell or not to tell

If you have just started a new relationship at work, you may choose to keep it under wraps until you’re sure where it’s headed.

This, though, should be a mutual decision, and will come in handy just in case things don’t pan out as planned. However, as time progresses, you may mutually opt to reveal your interest for each other to your colleagues.

“You can’t keep it under wraps for far too long as any occurrence good or bad in your relationship will reflect in your work,” says Susan Gacheru, a psychologist and family coach based in Nakuru. Nonetheless, the decision on whether to tell or not should correspond with your company’s policy.

If your date is a supervisor

According to Forbes, one of the best ways a romantic relationship between a senior and a subordinate can work is through signing of a document stating that your relationship is purely consensual and devoid of any sexual manipulation or harassment. Where you decide to have the human resource department aware of your relationship, it should be the senior who lets the cat out of the bag, and not the subordinate.

He or she should be ready to take the heat if the company decides that the pair should no longer work together.

Don’t abandon your colleagues

Granted, in the early stages, you are likely to sub-consciously drift your attention towards your romantic partner at work. However, do not blindly neglect your colleagues.

“Interact with them on the same level you did before your romantic engagement,” says Ms Gacheru. Bear in mind that you will inevitably draw clues that your relationship with your lover is more romantic than professional. According to Ms Gacheru, you should note that your affection at work may result in discomfort among your other colleagues.

“Any public displays of affection are unacceptable at your workplace,” she cautions.

Additionally, you should not share problems between you and your partner with your colleagues. Draw the line between work friendships and your personal life.