SEXUAL HEALTH: Odour in the wrong places

Jane limped into my clinic, clearly in serious pain. I examined her immediately and discovered that her genitals and part of her thighs were bruised from corrosion caused by the application of household disinfectant to her private parts.

“Did someone abuse you?” I asked her, alarmed. She shook her head.

“I know you think I am crazy but you need to understand my situation,” she explained, tears rolling down her cheeks. “How can a man I love and trust talk like that to me?” Her husband had come home drunk the previous night and told her that her vagina smelt awful. He had been drinking unusually of late. He would come home in the wee hours of the morning and avoid sex. The previous night, Jane got fed up and finally confronted him. And that’s when he told her.

“You smell like rotten eggs in your private parts. Worse than a dead dog decomposing days after being hit by a speeding vehicle,” he said. The attack cut her to the core. She decided to take matters in hand and went to the toilet to use the corrosive toilet cleaner to scrub her genitals. She immediately developed burning pain and swelling. By morning, the pain was unbearable. And that’s how she ended up in my clinic. “Please help treat my swollen genitals and the smell,” she pleaded.

The couple had been married for three years. They had one child aged one and a half years old. They had been intimate until John, her husband, started drinking heavily. He had avoided intimacy for three months before Jane confronted him. 

The damage to Jane’s genitals was horrendous. There was swelling and raw wounds all over. I took specimens from the vaginal canal to test for the infection that was causing the purported smell. It turned out that Jane had bacterial vaginosis, a non-sexually transmitted bacterial infection of the vagina. Incidentally, she had been douching quite a bit, leading to the bacterial overgrowth that caused her problem. Bacterial vaginosis causes a smell and discharge which can be strong especially after sex. Jane had to sit in salty water three times a day for two weeks to heal her bruised genitals. I also gave her antibiotics for the bacterial vaginosis, and she promised to stop douching.

BIGGER ISSUE

The bigger issue lay with the conflict between Jane and John. There are many couples out there whose wives or husbands have body odour. They need to have this communicated to them in a respectful way. John’s mode of communication was a recipe for trouble.

It is also important to note that abuse it not a solution. Alcohol only provides a short-lived escape from reality. You must also learn to respect your spouse. A good point communicated badly causes great damage. Do not kill your spouse’s ego by passing the point as insensitively, as John did.  John had to accompany Jane to the clinic for our counseling sessions. A tall, hairy slender man, John was soft-spoken and an introvert. He said nothing much except to apologise to Jane. He lay blame on the devil whom he blamed for leading him astray. In the three months that he had been abusing alcohol, he had also performed poorly at work and received a warning letter from the employer.

“You see, such a small problem handled poorly leads to big consequences!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air. The couple also underwent communication training. Jane was had an argumentative personality that made John recoil whenever they had difficult discussions. They had to understand each other’s personality and how this affected their communication.

Finally, the couple had to go through sex coaching. When intimacy has been eroded and sex has vanished, it is not always automatic that it will resume after the problem is solved. Sex coaching helps to reignite the fire. “To some extent, this vaginosis has been a blessing in disguise,” Jane said on their last day of sex coaching. “We have achieved much more for our marriage and ashamed John’s devil who was out to finish us.” They stood, held hands and waved bye as they walked out of the consultation room. I nodded in satisfaction, glad to have conclusively resolved their issue.