Should I disclose that her lover is married?

Hi Maurice. I introduced my best friend to a guy five months ago. The worst part is that this guy is married and his wife is due to give birth in a few weeks. My girlfriend doesn’t know any of this. What troubles me is the fact that I know everything but I don’t want to tell her because for the last few months, this guy has been her world. I have tried to convince him to tell my friend the truth or else I will do it, but he has pleaded with me not to. She is my friend and I feel guilty about this whole mess. Should I go ahead and tell my friend the truth?

READERS' ADVICE

What was your purpose of introducing her to him? What were you expecting two adults of the opposite sex to do when they met? You are to blame because you initiated the friendship with a lie and now the two are in ‘love’. I think the best thing to do is to take the initiative of letting the cat out of the bag, lest your friend hates you forever after discovering that you never told her the truth.

Ogola Anthony Otieno

There’s nothing that hurts more than being kept in the dark by those close to you. It makes one feel like the dumbest person around. You should have told your friend the truth before things got to this level. Could be it’s still not too late to tell her the truth, just go ahead and do it. her. Jaf Jm

Let’s face it. Dating a married man is wrong! There are no positive reasons for dating one . Society frowns at it, and God detests fornication, therefore, it’s high time you correct what is wrong. You aren’t being fair to even yourself. Go ahead and do what is right. Don’t listen to that man who shamelessly wants to have his cake and eat it. So disclose his marital status and ask your best friend to forgive you.

Agnes Mukei

EXPERT ADVICE

Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor answers:

 Let’s look at the facts - you are responsible for introducing your friend to a married man, and in my opinion, it is your duty to let her know that her potential man belongs to another woman. It is not the man’s obligation to disclose his marital status because for him, this is most likely driven by the thrill factor, knowing that at some point, he will go back to being a family man. I understand that you may fear the repercussions of putting your friend in this position, but it was your doing, so you need to cushion yourself from the inevitable back draft.

***

NEXT WEEK’S DILEMMA:

I have a best friend, a man, with whom I share everything. I have a crush on him and he knows it. It’s not a secret that I am falling in love with him, but he has a girlfriend who believes that we are only best friends, nothing more. He often tells me that he loves me so much. How do I handle this? I want him for myself.