Should I dump my apathetic hubby for this Prince Charming?

This week we advise a woman is in a love triangle with her live-in boyfriend who takes her for granted and her dream man.

PHOTO | FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • The problem with relationships today is that they are pegged on self-interest even though people purport to be in love.

  • Before you jump ship, share your concerns with your husband and embrace realistic expectations.

I moved in with this man in 2014. We’ve never met each other’s parents and we have never had a wedding. He takes me for granted. Last year I met a guy who turned my life upside down. He showers me with love and takes me out regularly unlike my

“husband”. He is also far much better in bed. Should I dump my “husband”  for Prince Charming?

READERS’ ADVICE

You can only be sure of where you are headed with your “husband” by asking him a few questions with regards to how he treats you. His response will enable you to make a decision that you will not regret. But do not rush into another relationship before

you are sure where you truly belong. Juma Felix

 

Your liaison with Prince Charming complete with a sexual affair shows that you have no feelings for your husband. You are still exploring the world of love, so stop tying yourself down to one man and stop wasting your husband’s time; call it quits. Lennis Muriuki

 

From the sound of things your ‘husband’ is not the kind of man you need. Make up your mind and stop wasting your time and his. For a relationship to work communication is fundamental. Have you engaged your ‘husband’ in a dialogue? Is he ready to commit to you? Don’t dump him before you get answers to these questions. Jane Ndule

 

EXPERT ADVICE

Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor answers:

 If your criteria of a serious man is based on artificial expressions of love, you are in deep trouble. Don’t be a victim of a man who will cause great misery later because your relationship was not based on anything solid.

The problem with relationships today is that they are pegged on self-interest even though people purport to be in love. Before you jump ship, share your concerns with your husband and embrace realistic expectations.

Marriage is not the ring or the certificate, it is about partnership, friendship and a willingness to holds hands and weather all storms.

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NEXT WEEK’S DILEMMA: I am 29 years old. I have a master’s degree, a good job and I’m planning to enroll for my PhD by next year. I also have a thriving catering business on the side and I’ve taken out a mortgage.

My boyfriend of three years is 34 but he only has an undergraduate degree. He has a job in IT, but he has been in the same position forever. When I ask him about his plans for the future, he says that he is comfortable where he is and he’ll cross that bridge

when he gets there. I love him. He is smart, gentle, funny and treats me well. We’ve talked marriage. I often interact with high-flying men who would easily date me and who match my ambition.

My boyfriend supports my goals, but my worry is whether we will have problems in future given our differing levels of ambition. What do you think? Should I look for a man who is a go-getter like me?