Should I tell my dad that mum is cheating on him?
I recently found out that my mum is cheating on my dad after I came across messages exchanged between her and her lover on her phone. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP
What you need to know:
Be prepared for any reaction from her; she may admit her misdemeanours or she may deny them, but don’t worry about her reaction. What matters is that she hears all about your feelings.
It may just bring her back to reality and make her realise the risks that she is taking.
Q: Hi Aunt Truphena,
I recently found out that my mum is cheating on my dad after I came across messages exchanged between her and her lover on her phone. They were sexting each other. I have also noticed that my mum has changed a lot; she drinks alcohol and comes home late. I don’t know if my dad has noticed this behaviour, but it is really worrying me.
Should I confront my mum or should I tell my dad about my mum’s cheating, or should I simply stay out of their business? Please advise me.
A: This is a sensitive issue so you need to approach the situation in a non-confrontational manner. The only solution in this instance is to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother. Tell her that you know what she has been up to and that it is hurting you terribly. Let her know how you feel about being caught in the middle of two parents you love and that it has become too much for you to handle.
Ask her to be honest with your dad and to either work things out with him or to make a choice that doesn’t keep you and your whole family in such an emotionally difficult situation.
Be prepared for any reaction from her; she may admit her misdemeanours or she may deny them, but don’t worry about her reaction. What matters is that she hears all about your feelings. It may just bring her back to reality and make her realise the risks that she is taking.
If she asks you to keep her actions secret, tell her that it is unfair of her to ask you to do that. Tell her that she is hurting you by asking you to betray your dad, just like she is doing. Make no promises.
And if all this is too hard to handle by yourself, rope in a relative or other trusted adult who can give you support and advice. If your parents do end up divorcing, it is important that you understand that it is not your fault for getting hidden things out in the open.
It is obvious that your parents are having problems in their relationship, but that has nothing to do with you as their child. You can still get love from both parents even if they no longer love each other. I wish you all the best.
