Six things women hate about their men

While it is pardonable to offer a compliment to another lady, some men openly ogle other women in the presence of their partners. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • Are your problems as unique as you think? Are you dating the average guy? We spoke to a few women to see what problems they have in common.

  • According to them, men hardly see how their actions affect their spouses. “They don’t see the end result of their actions and we hate it because it seems deliberate of them,” said Dianah Ngwiyo. Here are some of the problems they highlighted.

If you have been in a relationship for any number of days, then your partner will likely have gotten on your nerves at least once.

Perhaps he has habits you can’t stand, or perhaps he’s made mistakes that he has since rectified. Either way, you are familiar with the stab of irritation you feel when he errs. 

Are your problems as unique as you think? Are you dating the average guy? We spoke to a few women to see what problems they have in common.

According to them, men hardly see how their actions affect their spouses. “They don’t see the end result of their actions and we hate it because it seems deliberate of them,” said Dianah Ngwiyo. Here are some of the problems they highlighted.

WHINING

Sarah Akeyo, for instance, left her boyfriend of three years because she couldn’t stand his whining. “He was always complaining about how hard life has become but putting zero effort into improving his finances,” she says, adding that he had no ambition. “I hated it intensely. I opted to leave. I just couldn’t take it anymore even though I loved him.”

FINANCIAL TIGHT FIST

According to psychologist Dr. Chris Hart, couples will often disagree on finances. Well, Annabel Luyali attests to this, saying that her partner has become tight-fisted.

“I’ve been married for three years. In the first few months of our marriage, my husband was reasonably generous. By the time we clocked two years, though, I noticed that his cash taps were running dry.

He would offer excuses such as delayed payments to avoid meeting some of our household bills,” she says.

“The annoying bit is that he earns Sh600, 000 per month, which he never tells me how he’s spent.” Patricia Atieno Oluoch, a housewife and mother of twin boys aged three, says her husband hardly lets her participate in his financial decisions.

Ironically, she had quit her accountant job to take care of their kids in agreement that her husband would involve her in his money decisions, and give her monthly spending money. “I have to account for every penny, from buying my sanitary pads to baby diapers,” she says.

“I know he’s doing it deliberately to ensure I’m dependent on him and I hate it.”

POOR INTIMACY

Poor bedroom intimacy is one of the things women hate putting up with. Veronica Ogoti hates her partner’s after-sex behaviour. “He will act all mushy and romantic when he wants to get intimate.

At first, it makes me feel appreciated and wanted, but all this is eroded by his after-sex behaviour,” she says.

“He either quickly dozes off or gets into another activity. It’s selfish.” Jessica Waithera says her love-life has become monotonous. Apparently, her husband is too conservative in the bedroom and will not bow to her request to broaden their love-making scope.

“I truly love my husband but I want more and he wants none of it. It makes a part of me hate his selfishness.”

EXCESS CONTROL

Peris Wanjiku says her partner can be too controlling, a habit she detests. “I first noticed that he was controlling when he began making suggestions on what I should wear,” she says.

“There are times I’ll meet him in town and the first thing he’ll tell me is ‘I don’t like that blouse’ or ‘that skirt is too tight’.”

Apparently, says Peris, her partner has even threatened to walk out on her. “He will act miffed and tell me not to dress a certain way or else he’ll not walk hand in hand with me. I am not a school kid and it’s really annoying,” she says.

Rather than tone down, Peris says that she deliberately wears what he objects to. “I can’t tone down if I feel my dressing is decent enough.”

POOR GROOMING

“He will wear an expensive suit and classy shoes but will recycle his socks and underwear,” says Millicent Nafula, a wife of 10 years. She is not alone.

As Saturday Magazine found out, many women are put off by their men’s grooming standards. Take Elizabeth Kilonzo who has been in a domestic partnership for one and a half years. Apparently, her partner expects her to clean his underwear every time he changes it.

Says she: “He has formed this habit of leaving his underwear unwashed in the bathroom. He expects me to clean it up. It’s despicable and akin to cleaning after his mess.”

In the same vein, some men will go for days without taking a shower. “My partner believes women like a sweaty man and often quips that ‘mwanaume ni kajasho’ when I insist on daily showers.

But while I’ll admire the hard work behind his hard oily hands, I really hate the sweaty hugs stinking off garage oil,” says MaryAnne Wanjiku who is in a steady relationship with a mechanic.

MAMA’S BOY

Mwanaisha Abdala is engaged to a mama’s boy she has been dating for two years. “He will call his mother to ask for wedding planning advice,” she says unhappily.

Mwanaisha wonders how her marriage will turn out. “If this is happening before we’re hitched, how bad will things get in marriage?” According to Mwanaisha, no woman likes a mama’s boy.

“If he doesn’t put me first then I may have to demand that he makes a choice between his mama and me.”

ROAMING EYE

While it is pardonable to offer a compliment to another lady, some men openly ogle other women in the presence of their partners.

This is according to Lucia Ayuko, who is in a three-year-old relationship. She singles out incidences where her partner has gone on to offer elaborate compliments and praise to other women in her presence.

“He will ogle a woman’s bust or turn to catch a glimpse. In some cases, he will discuss a certain woman’s sharp dressing during dinner at home,” she says. “I don’t want to keep hearing how hot another lady is day in day out. It makes me feel belittled.”